At work the other day, all employees in our 20-something story office building were required to have photos taken for our parking garage/building card key. (The same card key is used to enter and exit the parking garage as well as enter the building after hours.)

Being my usual nosy self, I inquired as to why photos were needed for this card. I understood why company card keys have photos, but parking garage card keys? Well, I got my answer: “In case the building goes into lockdown, we would require each employee to show their card key to enter or exit the building.”

Lockdown? Lovely.

A producer friend is looking to interview people who purchased their first house (no condos or townhomes) in Los Angeles in the last year. (Please note it must be your first owned piece of property.) Email me if you’re available next week and interested in being interviewed for a radio piece.

My sister is casting for Next on MTV. They’re looking for good looking singles in southern California between 18 and 24, straight, gay, or bi. If you’re interested in auditioning for the show, email me and I’ll forward it on to her. Be sure to include your name, age, occupation, a little blurb about yourself, and a current picture.

Too bad she’s not working on a show looking for nice Jewish guys in their 30s. Now, that would be a hit.

Every now and then, I receive press releases from various companies, usually Jewish and/or singles related organizations or groups. This one is from the Jewish Journal of Los Angeles, and since I am a regular reader of said publication, I thought it warranted a post. So here ya go:

Check out www.jewishjournal.com to enter a give away for a FREE APPLE IPOD during the month of June! Visit www.jewishjournal.com for award-winning news and feature writing, provocative opinion, arts and entertainment coverage, singles listings a complete calendar and the new Jewish LA Guide which will be your one stop shop for all things Jewish.

Go. Now. Do it.

Last night I finally had the opportunity to meet David as he was in town speaking at a local book club meeting*, which he invited me to. [Ed. Note: David's the one who introduced me to Set Up Guy.] Anyway, David and his fiancee were very cool, the book club was great, and the members were a hoot. For example:

The hostess’s husband was getting over a cold, so another member said to him: You should put some warm saltwater up your nose.

I don’t know why, but I found that absolutely hysterical. Maybe it’s just me. Or maybe you had to be there. Or maybe I could just totally picture my mom saying the same exact thing.

*Average age of the members = 50-something.

A friend of mine is looking to rent a house in a quiet and pretty area (preferably in Arizona, Palm Springs, Napa, or Tahoe) for the month of May in order to have a peaceful place to finish his latest novel.

Do you have (or know of anyone with) a house to rent out? If so, please leave a comment or email me.

Go to the Skechers store and Macys.

Buy shoes. Two pair.

Ballet flats by Skechers and three-inch pointy toe heels by BCBG Girls.

Yes, those make me 6′ tall.

And no, I don’t care if round toe heels are all the rage now.

Because I bought a pair of those a couple weeks ago.

A friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, has a big time crush on a girl he knows. He bought this card at Soolip, one of my all-time favorite stores in LA, to give to her on Valentine’s Day. Is it not the cutest?

Think good thoughts for him!

This time, in Los Angeles. Yep, Bethany’s back from New York and she and a friend are looking for a two bedroom/two bath place on the Westside. If you know of any apartments for less than $1800 in the WLA/Brentwood area, please leave a note in the comments. Thank you.

Today is my dad’s 60th birthday. Happy birthday, dad! Looking forward to celebrating with the family this weekend! (Mom, please show this to him.)

Congratulations to JAB (who probably won’t be reading the blog for a while) on the birth of her second son! Can’t wait to visit you guys over Christmas!

Happy birthday Bethany! Can’t wait to see you on Tuesday! Everyone join me in wishing my sister a happy birthday.

I’ve noticed many of you have landed here in attempt to find out when Chanukkah begins. Look no further. Chanukkah starts December 7, 2004 at sundown and lasts eight nights. And yes, I am accepting gifts.

Just a little happy birthday shout out to JAB. Hope you’re having a wonderful day. Happy bithday!

I received two press releases via my blog today and wasn’t exactly sure how to respond to them. I mean, this is a personal blog, not an advertising-saturated-revenue-generating website. Sure, if I see a product I like or want to help a friend pimp something out, I’ll mention it. But a press release? I’m just a lolely blogger. What am I going to do with a press release?

Weeelllllll…after mistaking the email for spam and asking the sender to please remove me from her email list, I checked out said product. And well, it’s cute. So go to Jewcy and check out the new line of Manischewitz T-Shirts for men, women and kids as well as the Make Bagels Not War T-shirt. And ask them to send one to me.

It’s official. My friends and I are having a girls night out and going to see Puppetry of the Penis in November. Two of my coworkers saw it last time it was in town said it was hysterical. I can’t wait! JAB, want to go?

Apparently someone at Jmerica reads my blog, cuz they quoted my post about Broken Nose/Cell Phone Guy. I’m on the way to blog popularity, baby.

I found a $50 coupon code online and bought myself a 15 gig Dell Jukebox with free shipping. How stoked am I? It will come in quite handy for my upcoming trips to Detroit and New York. Woohoo!

The winner is…Nerds Ropes. Yeah, I know, I have really sophisticated taste.

Imagine you accidentally leave your camera’s memory card in the backseat of a taxi. Then you come across this blog called I Found Some Of Your Life where each day, one picture with the blogger’s commentary is posted. Eeeks!

My parents’ dog floating on the raft while my family and 35 of our friends enjoyed Rosh Hashana dinner in the backyard. (Click pic to enlarge.)

Blogging will probably be light for the next few days. My mom’s coming into town tonight and my surgery is tomorrow. Then I’ll be catching up on really bad daytime TV for the rest of the week.

Cute, huh?

I just looked up the surgery center I’m having my surgery performed at on Tuesday. It looks like one of those places you see on Extreme Makeover or a similar type of show. They even have this cool virtual tour on the site where you can click and look at pictures of all the different rooms. And no, I’m not having plastic surgery.

Woman Moves in With 6,000 Scorpions
One word: Why?

Huge thanks to my friend JAB for sending me the Garden State soundtrack. It is AWESOME.

…visiting my sister! Yep, tomorrow’s the big day! My 25-year-old sister is leaving behind the warm weather and beautiful beaches of California for the excitement of New York. And, since I know many of my readers live in New York, I figured why not solicit NYC living advice from you. Have any tips for my sister?

I’m in the market for a portable MP3 player. I’d like to buy a 256 meg player with an expansion slot so I can add a 512 meg card (for a total of 768 meg). Any suggestions? And yes, I would love an iPod, but I don’t want to spend that much money.

OK, nevermind. I am looking at the Dell Jukebox now. You all persuaded me.

My car needs new brake pads. At least my coworkers think it does. And herein lies the problem. Since I’m not one hundred percent sure the really-annoying-squealing-noise-I-hear-when-I-put-my-car-in-reverse-and-step-on-the-brake is in fact a result of brake pads that need replacing, I have to take my car to the shop. By myself. Unfortunately, I do not know of any brake places/mechanics around here (West Hollywood-area) so I have no idea where to go.

This is where you come in. Know a brake place/mechanic you trust? Let me know! Also, how much should a new set of front brake pads cost for a Honda Civic?

Otherwise I probably would have bought this Robo Maid while wide awake at 2:00 a.m. watching infomercials. How cool is this? You charge it, put it on the floor, and voila, your floor is clean without lifting a finger. Of course, that is assuming it actually works.

It’s true. I’m now 30. And guess what? I feel exactly the same!

Many of you have inquired into what I’m doing for the big day. Well, I’m starting it off with a manicure, pedicure, and haircut. Then, the parents get into town and my sister and I are meeting them for a really nice dinner. After that, a visit to my sister’s good-bye party (she’s moving to NY soon) at a local pub. Then, off to another bar to meet some friends for more drinks. So basically, lots of eating and drinking.

Details to follow after the festivities die down.

My aesthetician quit and I need to find a new one. Anyone know a good yet inexpensive place to go for eyebrow waxing in the West Hollywood or Beverly Hills area?

Orange chicken from Trader Joe’s. It’s in the frozen food aisle. So easy–heat the chicken and add the sauce. Yum!

During lunch we walked past a group with a megaphone and signs reading Poker In Athens. I’m guessing they’re protesting the validity of some of the Olympic sports.

… is to help out a fellow blogger. I’m leaving for hot and humid Houston tomorrow morning and have a fun project for you to partake in while I’m gone. Hopefully this mission will prove easier than Pauly’s treasure hunt.

Your mission: To find me a man. Not just any man, but a good man.

The requirements: He must be normal (i.e., not psycho), funny, nice, smart, my height (5′9″) or taller, in his late 20s to late 30s, Jewish, single (you’d be surprised) and have a car as nobody walks in LA. He’d be gainfully employed, at least in theory. (I have a tendency to date writers and comics.) And he wouldn’t have tons of baggage.

Know him? Then have him find me! I’m sure a lot of my loyal readers must know at least one nice Jewish nice boy in the LA area. Right? So share the wealth.

p.s. This post was originally intended as a joke, then I thought hmmm, ya never know…

Yesterday, my boss and I were looking at pictures on Yahoo! of John Kerry and John Edwards. I pointed out that John Kerry must be a very touchy-feely guy, because he seems to always be hugging or touching John Edwards. Well, apparently someone else noticed this too.

Good news! The new test shows no blockage. Hooray!

Thanks to everyone for your kind comments!

I’ll be up in San Simeon visiting Hearst Castle Saturday and Sunday. Please try your hardest not to miss me too much.

p.s. Show my sister some love already.

In case you care: My coworkers and I did a taste test of the new Coke C2 and regular Coke. As a Diet Coke addict, I rarely drink regular Coke so I couldn’t tell much of a difference. The regular Coke drinkers said the C2 had a slight aftertaste, but still gave it a thumbs up. It just tasted really sweet to me.

I have a bunch of Gmail accounts to give away. Want one? Then leave your email address in the comments.

Update: Uh, who knew it would be so difficult to give away Gmail accounts. There’s got to be someone out there who wants one.

A popular (yet odd, I know) treat in my family is microwaved marshmallows. In case you’ve never eaten this delicacy before, this is what they look like:

I put a non-microwaved marshmallow next to the microwaved ones so you can see the difference. Obviously, the marshmallows puff up quite a bit after 40 seconds in the microwave. As they cool, they get a little gooey and crunchy–kinda (but not really) like fire roasted ones. Anyone else do this or just my family?

Use a toothbrush to clean the removable filter on a hairdryer. Who woulda thunk it? None other than the editors at Glamour magazine. And thanks to them, I now have a hairdryer that works as good as new.

My first attempt at posting a picture. My parents’ puppy–he’s a standard poodle. Yep, I’m down in San Diego for the long weekend.

So I’m sitting here at my desk catching up on email this morning when I notice a big black spot on the ceiling above my co-worker’s desk. What is it? A cockroach. Huge. Upside down. On the ceiling. I point it out to my co-worker and we quickly find our Willing Bug Killer. You know, the guy that isn’t afraid to stand on a chair and squish a cockroach with a piece of paper towel. (Ewww!) Anyway, as always, Willing Bug Killer saved the day, and now I am sitting here freaking myself out by imagining cockroaches falling from the ceiling and landing in my glass of water on my desk. Oh, Happy Friday to me.

On a sweeter note, I made brownies (yes from scratch, found a new recipe) and brought them into work today. They are turning out to be quite a hit.

While at the salon getting my regular manicure and pedicure over the weekend, I was surrounded by 17-going-on-35-years getting made up for prom. My God, the-getting-ready-for-prom-outfits these girls were wearing! They were practically naked. And if that wasn’t enough–the up-do hairstyles and tons of makeup being applied made them look like porn stars! I’m pretty sure there is no way my mom would have ever allowed me out of the house looking like that (and my mom is a way cool mom). To all of you out there who are raising teenagers, wow, that must be tough!

Weird News of The Day: This is so bizarre.

Yesterday my diffuser (hair dryer attachment for us curly haired peeps) broke just as I finished drying my hair. Of course, this meant I had a major hair dilemma for today–do I wear my (naturally curly) hair curly with a chance of frizz or do I straighten it? I chose to straighten it. Oh, in case you were worried–all is now good in the world–I just called a local beauty supply store and they do in fact carry diffusers.

To my friend and her husband–you know who you are–who are expecting their second child. Congratulations!

Back at work after spending two days at home recovering from a bad cold. How I wish I could be back in bed watching daytime tv and sipping orange juice rather than sitting in my cubicle catching up on missed work.

Jackson Briefs Taken by Prosecutors–Nope, not briefs as in legal briefs. Briefs as in underwear. Um, yuck.

For all you ice-cream lovers out there, today is Free Cone Day at Ben and Jerrys. My co-workers and I are going to walk over to the mall for an ice-cream break this afternoon. What a perfect day for it too, considering it’s in the 90s again!

Put these LA people in order of quasi-celebrityness, with 1 being the highest and 5 being the lowest: Angelyne, Hal Fishman, Paul Moyer, Bobby Trendy, and Dennis Woodruff.

“Take Fountain.” –Bette Davis

Parchment paper–Amazing for baking, nothing sticks to it, and it can go in the oven! Why don’t more people use it?

No such thing as too many peeps.

I successfully sold my old DirecTV receiver on eBay today for $75. How cool is that? My new TiVo receiver was only $99, so I am quite the happy camper right now, especially considering the receiver I eBay-ed (is that even a word?) was free after rebate. I love eBay.

I’m considering selling my old DirecTV receiver and card on e-bay. I’ve never sold anything on there, any suggestions/tips for me?

What? Do I really have to explain further?

A woman chewed on a piece of a thumb in her salad from Red Robin.

You know the annoying TrimSpa commercial with Anna Nicole Smith? She’s wearing an ugly grey off-the-shoulder top and gets out of a Hummer limo…that’s the one. Anyway, it drives me nuts because of a stupid little editing error. At the beginning of the commercial, her shirt is out, just below her waist. A few seconds later, after she says I’m back!, it’s tied at the waist. Then once again, it’s untied. How the hell could the editors have missed that? It is so obvious! Check it out and let it bother you too.

Saw this great satirical post, 12 Reasons Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal, on one girl’s life.

Update: Apparently the correct title of this piece is 12 Reasons Same-Sex Marriage will Ruin Society and the University of Florida’s Gator Gay-Straight Alliance created it for a Valentine’s Day flyer.

Believe it or not, after 43 years together, Barbie and Ken have gone their separate ways. Yes, they will remain friends. According to this article on cnn.com, “…the separation may be partially due to Ken’s reluctance to getting married. All those bridal Barbie dolls in toy chests around the globe are really just examples of Barbie’s wishful thinking…”.

How typically male. I hope Barbie had a pre-nup, because I can’t remember Ken ever having a job…

Remember Magic Shell–the chocolate ice cream topping that freezes when you pour it on ice cream? I didn’t even think they made it anymore! Anyway, I went down the hall to watch tv and hang with my neighbor and his friends, and they had ice cream and Magic Shell. Talk about remembering the 80s! Yum!

According to Fox News, Debbie Rowe, the mother of Michael Jackson’s oldest children (Paris and Prince), is Jewish. That of course would mean the kids are Jewish as well. Who knew?

I heard this great (true) story on Kevin and Bean this morning. Eighteen months after purchasing his iPod, Casey Neistat’s battery wouldn’t hold a full charge. When Neistat called Apple to find out about getting a replacement battery, he was told he had to purchase a new iPod (as Apple did not have a battery replacement program). After writing a letter to Steve Jobs, and again being told there was no battery replacement program, Neistat and his brother decided to create this short about their battery replacement frustrations.

Didn’t make it to the party last night. Had a friend emergency and ended up hanging out at home. Oh well. There’s always next time…

According to yourDictionary.com, the top word of 2003 is embedded. Why? Explains Paul JJ Payack, Chairman of the company, “Embedded was the best word to distill the events of an extraordinary year into 8 simple letters.”

And in case you want to know the entire top ten list, here ya go:

1. Embedded
2. Blog
3. SARS
4. Spam
5. Taikonaut
6. Bushism
7. Allision
8. Recall
9. Middangeard
10. Celibacy

Re-live the 80s and raise money for charity by playing Pong. The law firm of Liner Yankelevitz Sunshine & Regenstreif LLP is giving away $100,000 to charities this holiday season and you can help! For each game you play–win or lose–you’ll earn a point. That point then goes to the charity you’ve selected and on December 29, each charity’s points will be converted to a percentage of the total donation. And voila, they get money.

Delta Air Lines’ new service, Song, has teamed up with Kate and husband Andy Spade to design clothing, luggage, shoes, and sunglasses for flight attendants and customer service representatives. Hopefully this won’t become a trend–I don’t want to have to ditch the track pants and t-shirt for something more stylish when I’m flying!

In the market for a Yenta or Madonna’s not Jewish. But I am. t-shirt? What about a great miracle happened here panties? Then look no further!

Thanks to my Three Musketeers wrapper (gotta love co-workers bringing in their children’s Halloween candy), I had many of my cohorts trying to lick their elbows. Why? Because this wrapper’s “silly science fact” says, It is anatomically impossible for humans to lick their own elbow. See, you really do learn something new every day. Try it, and let me know if you suceed!

OK, let me get this straight. This marijuana-smoking-cross-dressing-millionaire “accidentally” shot his neighbor, panicked, chopped up then disposed of the body, fled the state, shoplifted a sandwich even though he had hundreds of dollars on him, then was captured. What happened next? A jury acquitted him of course!