Why I Will Vote Absentee From Now On
(Poll added, see bottom of post! Sorry in advance about the ads.) And it’s been removed, apparently the domain expired. Random.
I voted at 7:30 this morning. And it was a pain in the ass.
I got to my polling place–the International Cinematographers Guild–to find the parking lot closed which I vaguely remembered was the case the last time I voted. Then I circled the block a few times in hopes of finding a meter in a neighborhood (morning rush hour in Hollywood and permit parking neighborhoods make for very difficult parking), couldn’t find one, and opted to brave parking in the strip mall next door. Why have a polling place with no parking?
When I finally got to the front door of the Guild, it was locked, and I was buzzed in by the receptionist. I found the polling place, heard lots of yelling in Russian (there is a large Russian population in my neighborhood) and watched a very unhappy man walk out the door complaining about how he is unable to vote.
Then it was my turn in line. I gave my name and address to the first person and signed the sheet (got the requisite “oh your name is Hilary! like Hillary Clinton!” joke), received a ballot from a second person, and repeated my name and address to a third person. Unfortunately, this woman could not find me on her list and yelled so everyone in the room could hear, “YOU’RE NOT ON MY LIST!” She asked me to repeat the spelling of my last name, apologized for not hearing me well because she had a sinus infection, and again said “YOU’RE NOT ON MY LIST!!” Then she asked, “WHERE ARE YOU?” to which I responded, “excuse me?” and got a “WHERE ARE YOU?” and the look of death in return. The woman next to me in line looked at me sympathetically and shrugged her shoulders. I am here. On the other side of the table from you. The real question is WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? because you’re obviously on a different planet than the rest of us.
“Um, what do you mean by where are you?” I finally asked her, and she said, “WHAT IS YOUR ADDRESS?!?!” and at that point, I half expected her to throw in a DUH! for good measure. The next five minutes were spent by me repeating my address, her transposing the numbers, me repeating it again, and her telling me the list isn’t in any order, and “YOU’RE NOT ON MY LIST!!!” until I finally asked if that meant I could not vote. “OH NO, YOU CAN STILL VOTE! I JUST NEED TO CHECK YOU OFF BY THE END OF THE DAY!” Whatever. I have no idea what that meant.
And I voted. I think. Hopefully my vote will count, even if I am not on that second list.