Jdate Emails of the Week

My subscription ends this week, so these two will have to tide you over until I’m feeling brave again. Hold on tight, these are scary.

Email #1

Hello
How are you doing today,hope you are doing fine..I must tell you that your profile is worth a million glance….Am [Xxxxxx] by name am in Marketing….Am a man of 40 years old with a son,whose name is [Zzzzzz]…….currently am Divorced and looking forward to meet a woman that will possess at least few of my qualities….That is loyalty,Humble,Honest,GOD fearing,Caring,ETC
Finally,i would be highly honored if you can admit me as your friend….And also tell me more about yourself…This is my personal email address [Xxxxxxx]@yahoo.com please reply to my personal email address…… If you have a yahoo id please send it along so that i can add you to my friend list…….i believe through that medium it will be faster to get to know more about each other.
Hope to hear from you

Email #2

hello my name is [Wwwwww]i am new at the site and found your profile and loved what i saw in there i think we coulg get to know more about each other….i want a lady for a long term relationship ….i mean someone i can feel and touch someone that can care about me and share love together with me…….i want to fall in love again……………….
…..contact me at my email [Wwwwww]@yahoo.com if uve got im so we can have some chart and get to know each other we can start from there

Now, must you really ask why I’m not in a huge rush to renew my subscription? And what’s with the ellipsis and IM requests?

11 Comments »

the patient

January 30th, 2008 | 7:18 am

Good to know that guys aren’t the only ones to get such spam.

Barbara E.

January 30th, 2008 | 8:06 am

The first one sounds like a Nigerian prince who had to leave Nigeria under cover of night but has US$34.7 million in a Swiss bank account in the name of Hillary and only needs your U.S. checking account & social security number.

Regarding the 2nd one, who knew Barry White hangs out on jdate?

Hotty

January 30th, 2008 | 8:07 am

Hey! Those two love letters were me from. You make excellent 14th wife. You, me we make 12 children together also. Sense you good cook, clean house, wash car, change oil, wipe my but, and fearing me. You write me so we meet, we marry soon.

The Love of Your Life!

Dawn

January 30th, 2008 | 9:15 am

Bsrbara!! You took the words right out of my mouth about the Nigerian prince thing!!! Hilarious!

H — one day your prince will come. Just not from Nigeria.

jami

January 30th, 2008 | 9:25 am

And neither of those screamed “true love” to you? Shocking!

hills

January 30th, 2008 | 9:42 am

Does your profile say anything about being attracted to men with poor grammar skills?

DC

January 30th, 2008 | 11:02 am

Do some people ACTUALLY respond to requests like this?! Wow. I mean, you shouldn’t have to add “Able To Construct A Simple Sentence” to the list of things you’re looking for in a date. Yeesh.

SleepyNita

January 30th, 2008 | 3:18 pm

I can not believe how poorly some of these people write. It would drive me batty to get such crap unedited email from losers looking for love.

That being said, I actually put my Uncle on Plenty of Fish last year and wrote his profile again (actually I broke into his profile and re-did it, it was a disaster) and now he has had the same girlfriend for 8 months. She picked his profile because it was well written and so were his replies (which I also wrote).

Maybe these guys just need professional help? ;)

Rebecca

January 30th, 2008 | 3:39 pm

OMG! I can see why you might be lacking confidence in JDate.

W. Lotus

January 30th, 2008 | 6:34 pm

Awhile back on Yahoo Personals I had a guy request that I IM him. I explained my schedule did not allow me that kind of time, and the best way to reach me was by email. He replied with his IM username. We did this exchange twice. The next time I didn’t bother to reply. I figure if he is so hard-headed about IM, the process of building a real relationship would be far more stress than I need in my life!

amy

January 31st, 2008 | 10:09 pm

it’s bad enough that one guy writes like that, but two? i especially like the “god fearing” reference on a jewish dating site.

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