Jdate Email/IM of the Week

Courtesy of my parents, indirectly.

IM (from a local guy with whom I’ve already corresponded)
hello there is your name [Hilary] or are you just very cold? ….caz I was wondering if I could warm ya up… Thanks for checking my profile out I’m almost done with my subscription to Jdate, so please if you get a chance, communicate with the myspace page? [his myspace page]

Email (from a guy on the east coast)
Subject: Hello there Pretty
Message: I must say this, even if you were going to be mad at me and shut me out from talking to you and getting to know you… I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOUR PICTURES… Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living? I guess there must be something wrong with my eyes – I can’t take them off of you….What does it feel like to be the most beautiful person on this site? My mother would like you! What are the chances that we engage in anything more than just conversation? Could you please direct me to the nearest entrance to your heart?….It takes two to tango. So, when do we start?…I am sorry if that sounded so rude…Do Forgive my Rudeness…i Apologize… Can we get to know more about each other?
- - -
Money well spent, non? Actually, I am corresponding with two guys who at least thus far, appear to be normal. I’ll keep you posted.

13 Comments »

elise

May 15th, 2007 | 4:32 pm

hahaha!!! that second one is hilarious! definitely money well spent, thanks barb and norm…

i guess the key words here are: thus far!

maria

May 15th, 2007 | 5:40 pm

for real????

julia

May 15th, 2007 | 6:19 pm

Seriously, are these for real? Guys talk like that?

Barbara E.

May 15th, 2007 | 7:24 pm

I’m guessing English is not East Coast guy’s first language. It had the feel of Steve Martin & Dan Ackroyds’s wild and swinging Czech bachelor speak. Yeah, I’m old.

H

May 15th, 2007 | 8:09 pm

Sadly, these are real. And English is East Coast guy’s first language. Sigh.

Esther Kustanowitz

May 15th, 2007 | 9:44 pm

There’s so much I need to ask.

1) Clearly you’ve been sexy for a while. But for a living? Is that a new job? Who are your coworkers?

2) Is “communicate with my MySpace page” what all the kids are saying these days? Sounds kind of hot in a robotic kind of way.

3) Is the nearest entrance to your heart the left or right ventricle? How does the auricle factor in? And if I’m driving from the Valley, should I take Cahuenga instead of the Freeway?

Dave

May 15th, 2007 | 9:51 pm

This is the competition?

You got engage?
You broke up?
You’re moving to Argentina?
You’re pregnant?

nanette

May 15th, 2007 | 10:47 pm

YIKES!!!

Marc F.

May 16th, 2007 | 7:55 am

I think I’ve gone out with their sisters.

Laura

May 16th, 2007 | 10:26 am

That’s some scary stuff.

mom

May 16th, 2007 | 1:16 pm

ick…………that is what i spent my money on???

blech………….

mom

Ron

May 17th, 2007 | 8:05 am

I was waiting for the sharp comment from Mom on the “money well spent” quip.

Look at the bright side — At least you didn’t get a message like “Do you like apples?” (The rest is a bad college joke not suitable for a family publication such as this.)

Best of luck with (at least one of) the “normal” guys. Sorry about the geeks there. And thanks for the chuckles.

vr

May 18th, 2007 | 11:54 am

i was asked by a guy on jdate, how much do i weight and what’s my size, he didn’t want anything higher then 10 :O

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