I finished my speech for Wednesday’s luncheon! And I’ve figured out what I’m going to wear! And I’m finally de-stressing because I see things coming together. Now I just have to memorize my speech. Did I mention The Dance Doctor (come on, the guy from Blind Date, I know I’m not the only one who remembers him) will be performing/teaching/entertaining us at the luncheon? Seriously.
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I don’t think I posted about this, but my sister and I bought my mom an autographed Barbra Streisand album on eBay for her birthday. My mom loves Barbra Streisand, and my parents have albums in frames on the wall in the family room, so I thought it would be a cool gift. My mom was so excited when I told her the album was on its way, and I was expecting it sometime last week. Alas, it never came.

One week after he claimed to have shipped it priority mail (which takes 2-3 days) and three emails from me later, the seller suddenly realized “this package did not ship when it was supposed to, it was overlooked.” I was more than slightly pissed it took three emails from me for him to check on the shipment. Fortunately, I received it yesterday and my mom will get it on Wednesday.
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I filed a complaint with the USPS regarding my postal carrier just dumping mail in the bin rather than sorting it and putting it in our mailboxes. Oddly enough, the post office responded to my email the following day and called me back while I was at work. Wow.
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Over the weekend, I went to the mall in search of a suit. Sadly, I think all the idiots were working that day. First I went to Macy’s and asked the saleswoman if the suits were in one area, or if they were organized by designer. She responded, We don’t sell suits, only separates. I then asked her where I could possibly find a jacket and matching pants, and she said they are all over the floor, not in one area. Aha!

Following that debacle, I went to Banana Republic and asked to try on a pair of pants in a long, which of course, they no longer sell in the stores. [Side note: It's super lame that longs can only be purchased online, which means I have order them without trying them on and pay for shipping. At least Express has samples for you try on and offers free shipping.] Anyway, I asked the salesgirl what the difference between the regular and long lengths were. She answered, the longer is longer. Well thanks, that sure helped.

Frustrated, I gave up and headed to Nordstrom, where I should have gone all along. Of course, I’m having major buyer’s remorse and will most likely return the new suit and wear the one I already own.
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Tonight I’m meeting Computer Guy. Think good thoughts.
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Finally, those of you who have emailed me through my blog in the past week–I’m not ignoring you, I just got your emails yesterday. I have no idea why.

My Tuesday night Jdate with Computer guy was nice. We had drinks and some food at The Arsenal (holy shit, is that place dark! it took us both about five minutes before we noticed this whole other area of seats) after work and talked a bit. He’s very sweet, just not for me. But it was nice to meet someone whose house has all major appliances.
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Wednesday’s luncheon was beautiful and amazing and my speech went well. I was presented with an award (by the President/CEO and my Little) that is made out of glass lucite and has a picture of my Little and myself on it. It’s hard to describe but looks really cool. Anyway, much of the morning was spent having pictures taken with my family, my Little’s family, the other honorees, the honorees’ families, and some of the staff. I felt so important and can’t wait to see the professional photographer’s photos! My Little was beyond excited to have our picture taken with the mayor of Beverly Hills (who by the way, has an awesome sense of humor) and his wife, one of the honorees. [Interesting side note: The mayor is the first Iranian-born mayor of Beverly Hills.]
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Last weekend, my sister and her boyfriend visited Mugged Guy’s store. The next day, I emailed him and told him of their experience. We exchanged a few emails, and in one I asked him if he ended up getting back together with his ex-girlfriend (you know, the one he realized he was still in love with after kissing me). The following day, I receive this text message: By the way, my x hasn’t worked at the store since January so that seems to help from a number I didn’t recognize. Yep, Mugged Guy’s cell, which I had deleted from my cell following his discovery of his feelings toward his ex. What the hell was the point of that text?
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My sister is moving. Yes, again. Now she’s looking for a one bedroom for less than $1000 (with AC and parking) anywhere from the westside to Hollywood. Possibly also (gasp) in the Valley. If anyone has any leads and wants to save her from spending weekends driving around, please let me know.
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In I’m overly tired news, I managed to leave my doorwall open while I was out running errands the other day. I know the odds of someone scaling up three floors are pretty low, but the fact that I left it open bugs me–I’m usually way more responsible.

In other stupid news, as I was fastening my bra yesterday, my hand slipped and I somehow managed to hit the bottom of my chin with my hand, thus causing me to bite my cheek. Yes, I am awesome like that.
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The rest of this week is just as busy at the beginning was. Tonight is dinner with friends, tomorrow is my one night at home (woohoo, laundry!), Saturday I’m going down to OC for the day then having dinner with my mom (she’ll be in LA for the day for a shower) and sister, Sunday is the Magic Castle with the other Bigs (hopefully including one cute Big Brother I met recently at an event) and Littles.
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This week’s question: What do you do for a living, and do you enjoy it?

Too exhausted to write paragraphs, so you’re getting bullets again:

Friday

• Tried a new Dorie recipe for Caramel Crunch Bars (coming soon).
• Cleaned my apartment.
• Received and responded to an email from Computer Guy asking how my speech went.
• Went to sleep.

Saturday

• Woke up at 8:00 (too early for a weekend) and met up with Jen to drive down to Marisa’s house in Orange County. While at her house, I received a phone call from my sister telling me that she and her boyfriend just had breakfast at Jinky’s in the Valley and sat next to The Ex and his [not pretty] wife (my sister’s boyfriend said she looked like “a rotten banana,” not sure what the means exactly, but it doesn’t sound good.) The Ex didn’t recognize my sister–I think the last time he saw her was 10 years ago, when she was in high school, and my sister didn’t say hi because it wasn’t until she and her boyfriend peaked at the name on the credit card receipt that she was sure it was him.
• The scoop: The Ex looked miserable during breakfast and was fighting with his wife who, after looking at her Palm Pilot, declared that after breakfast they had to pick up dry cleaning; he said wanted to stay home and do nothing. Apparently she said to him, “You did that for four hours yesterday. You’re married to me now, things are different.” Rawr.
• Two The Ex sightings in one week. Weird.
• Spent the afternoon in OC. Had lunch then went to Babies R Us, Party City, and Target to buy baby shower paraphernalia.
• Drove back to LA.
• Met up with my mom and sister and learned my sister put in an application for an apartment two blocks from mine. In the same building I’ve been telling her to look at for five years. Note to younger sisters: listen to your older sister.
• Went for sushi and to Bed Bath and Beyond with my mom and sister.
• Drove with my sister to Union Station to put my mom on the 10:10 train down to Solana Beach.
• Came home and crashed.

Sunday

• Got into it on the phone with my Little’s mom because she wanted to take my Little to a festival that began at 11:00 even though I told her I would be at their house at 11:15.
• Drove from my apartment in Hollywood down to Pico-Robertson to pick up my Little.
• Drove to the Magic Castle in Hollywood, passing my apartment on the way.
• Had a fun, albeit rushed and disorganized time, at the Magic Castle.
• Learned Fox 11 news guy Phil Shuman was a Big. I didn’t get a chance to meet him though.
• Chatted with the cute Big from the last event (he came up and started chatting with me again).
• Sat next to Cute Big during a magic show and told him about my baking business and gave him a business card under the guise of ever needing baked goods. I have no idea if he has a girlfriend, is interested, likes sweets, or got the hint. I think he and his Little are going to the next group event (tennis!) in two weeks, so hopefully I’ll see him there.
• Following the last performance, devised plan to wait in long valet line with Cute Big.
• Plan was thwarted when my Little realized she lost her cell phone, which I told her to leave in the car. Fortunately she didn’t lose her iPod or $500 camera which were both also in the pocket her cell phone fell out of. (What the hell?)
• Searched throughout the castle, left my information with the man in charge, and returned to the valet line to find Cute Big gone and my Little in a bad mood.
• Drove back to Pico-Robertson to drop my Little off.
• Drove back to Hollywood to go home.
• Received a phone call from my Little’s mom asking me the phone number of the Magic Castle because she needs to know where the $350 cell phone is. Like I have the Magic Castle on speed dial.
• Had words with my Little’s mom because she was appalled I didn’t know the exact time the cell phone went missing.
• Got home tired, pissed off, and not wanting to do laundry.
• Looked for Cute Big on MySpace, Friendster, and Jdate, and couldn’t find him on any site. This must mean he doesn’t really exist, right?

The end.

I need another weekend, or at least another day, to do stuff for me. Because … next weekend I have to make goodies for the baby shower, host the shower (along with Jen and Marisa), then head down to San Diego for Mother’s Day.

Last week, a Jdate profile caught my eye. The profile had a somewhat free-flowing writing style, and the guy listed a bunch of words that he used to describe himself. One of those words was “freak.” I know, I should have taken that as a hint. Instead, I emailed him and acknowledged that while there are a lot of freaks on Jdate, there are not a lot of self-proclaimed freaks on Jdate. I inquired as to what made him a freak.

And I um, got my answer: What makes me a self proclaimed freak? LOL…good question. To keep the email sweet and g-rated, lets just say I’m open minded sexually when it comes to being with my girl, and I like that sort of thing, even if my heart and mind are monogamous.

Curious, bored, and slightly unsure of what he meant, I asked him: Are you a) sexually open with your partner and only your partner or b) sexually open with multiple people but your “heart and mind are monogamous” as you said?

His response: c) all of the above…but have only ever brought “other” people into our relationship for a night, and then move on…more like a sex toy type thing…not swingers, just open.

I wouldn’t call him a freak–to each his own. But he’s definitely not for me.

It’s been hot here. And when I say hot, I mean hot. Eighty-three degrees at 10 a.m. and 95 degrees around noon. And fires all day long. It’s officially spring in Los Angeles.

In related news, either my allergies are in full force (dry heat and smoke filled air can do that), or I’m fighting something off because I’ve felt horrible and been a major snot factory this whole week. Of course, this is a really bad time to feel like crap because I have to bake cookies tonight and make cupcakes and dip pretzels tomorrow. Also, Saturday is the shower (hence the yummies) and I’m driving down to San Diego that afternoon to spend Mother’s Day with my family. Another crazy busy weekend.

Have I mentioned next weekend the only thing on my calendar thus far includes a tennis outing with my Little? I hope to keep it empty like that.
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To answer questions in recent comments: Nani, a doorwall is what Detroiters call a sliding glass door. And Benny, I am a writer, and I have written about what I do for a living.
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My sister is moving into an apartment across the street and two blocks down. I now have an official guinea pig to taste my recipes.
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Yesterday my coworkers and I went to the Coffee Bean down the street from our office. I ordered a light caramel ice blended, no whip. Unfortunately, it also had no caramel. What the hell? I don’t think that Coffee Bean location has ever gotten an order right.
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This week’s question: If you were given $100 (don’t ask why, just accept it) how would you spend it?

The cold got me, I couldn’t fight it off any longer. Let’s just say my coworkers were very happy when I took my coughing, sneezing, snotting, self home early on Thursday and didn’t return to the office on Friday. Instead, I watched a lot of Tyra and Ellen and got some much needed sleep thanks to cold medicine. Fortunately, I’m feeling better today, but can’t wait for the congestion to fade so the horrible headache will go away too.

And of course, it was yet another busy weekend. I (yes, more bullets):

• Baked desserts and dipped pretzels in (white, milk, and dark) chocolate for Ann-Marie’s baby shower favors.
• Woke up at 7:30 on a Saturday to pack for San Diego and finish pre-baby shower stuff. Ari, will you still be my friend even though I got up so early?
• Along with Jen and Marisa, co-hosted a beautiful and lovely baby shower in Jen’s backyard.
• Drove straight from the shower to Del Mar to spend the rest of the weekend with my family.
• Enjoyed a delicious homemade dinner with my family and family friends.
• Slept about 10 more hours.
• Received a three month subscription to Jdate from my parents, because they “really want grandchildren.”
• Had an awesome Mother’s Day brunch at Sbicca with my family.
• Drove back to LA.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom, I love you!

Courtesy of my parents, indirectly.

IM (from a local guy with whom I’ve already corresponded)
hello there is your name [Hilary] or are you just very cold? ….caz I was wondering if I could warm ya up… Thanks for checking my profile out I’m almost done with my subscription to Jdate, so please if you get a chance, communicate with the myspace page? [his myspace page]

Email (from a guy on the east coast)
Subject: Hello there Pretty
Message: I must say this, even if you were going to be mad at me and shut me out from talking to you and getting to know you… I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOUR PICTURES… Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living? I guess there must be something wrong with my eyes – I can’t take them off of you….What does it feel like to be the most beautiful person on this site? My mother would like you! What are the chances that we engage in anything more than just conversation? Could you please direct me to the nearest entrance to your heart?….It takes two to tango. So, when do we start?…I am sorry if that sounded so rude…Do Forgive my Rudeness…i Apologize… Can we get to know more about each other?
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Money well spent, non? Actually, I am corresponding with two guys who at least thus far, appear to be normal. I’ll keep you posted.

While I was home sick, I was looking for a cookie sheet but couldn’t find it and decided someone obviously stole it from my apartment, because where else could it be? That afternoon, I found it in my oven. Oops.
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Since I currently have no ailments (knock on wood), I am planning once again to go to Seattle to visit my cousin and his fiancee and go to Bumbershoot. Crowded House will be performing, how cool is that?!
- - -
I bought a new laptop! My current one is four years old and the LCD display is slowly dying so I splurged on a new one. It even has a DVD recorder. I can’t wait to get it.
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As part of the LA Public Library’s ALOUD program, Armistead Maupin will be discussing his latest book–an update to the Tales of the City series. I am so excited!
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Guster is co-headlining with Cake (!!!) in … Costa Mesa. On a Wednesday night. This sucks. Okay, confused. All the references to Cake are gone, and it now says they are playing the Orange County Fair. Seriously. Weird.
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I really want this bed in pumice or espresso but I can’t justify spending $600 right now. I hate how furniture is so damn expensive.
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While scanning profiles, I ran across CL Guy’s. Apparently he now volunteers as a Big Brother (not with the same agency I volunteer with). Talk about a shocker.
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How awesome was How I Met Your Mother this week? And did anyone catch the Jdate and Cat and Fiddle references in Notes From the Underbelly last night? In other TV news, I’m now addicted to Real Estate Confidential and Flip That House. What are you watching or looking forward to?
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This week’s question: Where do you live? And do you own or rent?
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And finally, I hope you’re feeling better mom!

As I’m writing this I’m sitting at the new desk I spent the past two hours putting together. It looks like this, but it’s slightly umm, angled, and apparently missing one screw. Coincidence? Perhaps. Now, on to the more exciting stuff.

Friday
I woke up to find my new laptop had shipped so I am expecting it sometime this week. I’m so excited to receive it! After work, I went to Target–I had decided I can no longer go on weekend days because the place is just too crowded and filled with screaming kids running through the aisles. Anyway, came home, cleaned my apartment, firmed up plans with DG, watched Law & Order, then went to bed.

Saturday
Slept in (woohoo!), did laundry, baked cookies (recipe coming soon, hopefully), walked to my sister’s new apartment, went back home, relaxed for a bit, walked back to my sister’s, then the two of us headed out to Ikea.

Later that night, DG came over–originally to help me put together the desk–instead, we ended up playing Pacman on my Namco joystick thing and watched tv. I kicked him out around 12:30, caught a bit of Zach Braff on SNL, then crashed for the night.

Sunday
Slept in again (!) then picked my Little up and took her to a tennis lesson taught by a Big especially for Bigs and Littles. No, Cute Big wasn’t there. I did however, get quite a workout and impressed a few of the other Bigs with my overhead smashes. It was a lot of fun.

I dropped my Little off at home then showered and met my mom and sister at Bed Bath and Beyond. My mom took us on a huge shopping spree, and I got tons of new stuff including new dishes and silverware, and I love it all. (Thanks mom!) I came home and put some stuff away, then went back to my sister’s where we met up with my dad who was at a continuing ed class during the day. Then we went to Vivoli for dinner (yum and amazing service).

I’m about to fall asleep at my new desk, so that is it for the wrap-up post. Hope everyone had a lovely weekend!

For your reading pleasure:

Let’s begin with a guy who put me on his hotlist then sent me a “flirt.” And oh yeah, his username is based on the first line of his essay which reads, I’m great in bed and looking for someone to spend some “quality” time with.

Isn’t there a section of Craigslist devoted to that? It probably would have been easier than the Jdate registration process.
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Next, we have the 46-year-old man in Texas who writes, I like your profile.

Gee, thanks.
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Finally, I emailed a local guy whose profile was witty, articulate, and humorous. He responded with a lovely email which included this post script: p.s. Many thanks for the note, but it’s just been decided that I’m going to be moving to South America…on MONDAY…so it seems my L.A. bachelorhood is coming to an end. Good luck in your search, m’Lady.

Elaborate blow off or the truth?

Well, today is Tuesday and according to his profile, he now lives in New York. Which last time I checked, isn’t anywhere near South America. Oh well.

I totally forgot to mention that last week I met Martwork of I’m More Than My Minivan. She’s super sweet and we enjoyed a lovely lunch together. I love making new blog friends.
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When I played tennis last weekend, I noticed the courts at Beverly Hills Tennis are now blue instead of green! Apparently, the USTA changed the standard to blue because it makes it easier to see the yellow ball. They look kinda funky.
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I love love love my new computer–it’s so fast, the battery doesn’t die after five minutes, and the display is so crisp! Unfortunately, my five year old trackball mouse isn’t compatible with it, so now I have to get a new one; I hate the touchpad. The only other sucky thing about the new laptop is that the delete key is up top instead of where it used to be–it’s taking a lot of getting used to!
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This weekend, Julie is having a bunch of our friends from high school (and their spouses and kids) over for a barbecue at her dad’s house. I feel like we’re going to get in trouble in or something.

Speaking of Julie, she and I are both going to begin counting points again next week. So, we decided that when we both reach our former lifetime weights (now our goal weights) we will treat ourselves to a spa weekend. Nice reward, isn’t it?
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In random news, there’s a new cute guy in my apartment building. Unfortunately, I’ve only seen him in the garage, and one of us is always in a car. I need to get the scoop.
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Did anyone else watch the Law & Order season finales this week? Could there have been any more cliffhangers? And who is leaving the show? I couldn’t tell for sure.

In related news, what did you think of the Grey’s finale? Ugh.
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This week’s question: What is the first website you visit everyday?

This was one of the most relaxing weekends I’ve had in a long time. I:

• Took the train (business class, so I had a reserved seat) down to not-at-all-sunny SD. Side note: Taking the train ended up being a brilliant idea as I didn’t have to deal with holiday weekend traffic.
• Watched a DVD on the train.
• Slept, a lot.
• Watched TV, a lot.
• Relaxed, a lot.
• Ate, a lot.
• Baked World Peace Cookies.
• Went to a barbecue (with cookies in tow) hosted by Julie at her dad’s house. It was six high school friends, three spouses, and five little boys. Everyone had a great time.
• Decided, along with the other two single ladies, that said barbecue should become an annual event, and that next year, we will all have significant others to bring.
• Watched more TV.
• Ate more yummy food.
• Took the train (business class yet again) back to LA.
• Took the Redline from Union Station to Hollywood. Of course, this is where the relaxing part of the weekend ends. The subway itself is fine, but some of the people on it, mainly the man who would ask a question then yell at the person who answered him, and the guy who kept smiling and trying to sit next to me, were a bit sketchy.

So, I’m here in LA again. Tomorrow is back to work and more importantly, back to counting points. Spa weekend and skinny jeans, here we come!

Things that sucketh:

• My eye that has been twitching for about two weeks.
• New-to-baking people who comment on a Flickr cupcake message board (um, yes, apparently I am a dork) that there is something wrong with a recipe that I posted and have used a gazillion times, without fail.
• The 27-year-old girl who talked on the phone in the row next to me the entire two hour train ride from Solana Beach to Union Station.
• People who get on the subway before letting the people exiting out. (Yes, I took the Redline again.)
• The Jdate boy who emailed me, read my response, then two days later, emailed me again, totally unaware we’ve already corresponded.
• Having absolutely nothing interesting to blog about, hence this post.

Things that rocketh:

• Guster coming back to southern California.
• Feeling motivated to stick to counting points again.
• Delicious cherries, in May!
• Learning that I’m eligible to receive a new DirecTV receiver every six months. In the past four years I’ve been with DirecTV, they never told me this.
• Being asked to sit for an interview with my Little as part of a film being prepared by United Jewish Communities (UJC).
• Being Strep-free, and feeling like a normal person again.

The end. Feel free to add your own.

Does anyone in LA know anything about Hamilton High? It looks like my Little will be leaving her private Jewish day school and attending Hamilton in the fall, and I’ve heard some not-so-good things about it.
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I think I could live happily if I never hear the Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip Thou Shalt Always Kill song again.
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I replaced most of the lightbulbs in my apartment with the energy saver kind. Next up: Trying to convince our landlord to sign our apartment building up for a recycling program.
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I have a doctor’s appointment at 9:15 this morning and have to fast for the blood work. This means I have to be at my desk for an hour sans caffeine in my system. Is that legal?
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Does anyone know how long to hold onto old tax returns?
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My Tivo is empty. E-M-P-T-Y. Help! I need suggestions!
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I have to go into the DMV to renew my driver’s license for the first time in I swear, more than a decade. But this time, I have to get thumbprinted. I had no idea they were doing that.
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This week’s question: What’s the first thing you do when you get home from work everyday?