Gaak! The Bus would have been easier to accept! Me, I blame the work-life deal. Over working is killing romance in this country and delaying marriage by commonly 2-5 years, and that helps almost no one. Cheers & Good Luck, ‘VJ’

I’m sorry Hil. That really sucks. I don’t have anything comforting to say except that you deserve a man who can put you before his work; or at least learn to fit you both in. Who knows, I’m hoping he sees this as a mistake and calls you up.

Here’s an approximate quote from Tom Hanks in the movie, Castaway, which has become, like, my mantra in the dating world.

“Tomorrow is a new day. And you never know what the tide will bring in.”

Unfortunately, its true. And I say, unfortunately, because believing it is true, means you have to stay positive and keep truckin’. And that’s HARD work. Work I hate doing. But what choice do we single girls have?

You’re not alone in this dating struggle. And I too want to just give up so often.

And I’m sorry this happened. Yes, it sucks.

But it will get better. It always does.

I think it would have been lots easier if He Just Got “Mugged” Again.

Be Cheery. Just Think –f Our Newly Organized Trader Joes is like A Supermarket Corn Maze! Just like Our Ralphs was when they Rearranged Everything, about a year or so ago.

Wait, he dumped you over voicemail?

That offer to come to Canada is always open. I will totally hook you up with a lumberjack.

Thinking of you.

At least he did the honorable thing and called at all. A lot of guys just would’ve made themselves scarce, leaving you to take the (slowly building) hint.

Besides, you knew he was flaky to begin with. Although I guess that would have been a cute name for you as a couple: “The Baker and the Flaker.”

Aw, Hil, that sucks! I’m sorry. I’m sending you good relationship vibes.

And did you have plans with the same friend that Randi had plans with on Friday night? (Check out her weekend recap…)

Oof, that’s a tough one. On the one hand it’s good that he chose to be honest with you rather than continue to be flaky, but on the other it sucks that his schedule is so awful right now.

Have you called him back yet? I’ll be interested to hear what more he had to
say, if anything.

Just know that you are not alone - after the latest round of dating drama, I’ve totally given up

Yech. I feel your pain, I really do. The only upside is that he’s being straightforward about it and not leaving you hanging, waiting for him to call, waiting to decipher his clues. You are lovely, and very soon some equally lovely guy will recognize this.

?! @&$%^!!! To borrow from Dad Gone Mad’s sister - COCKSUCKER! Hope this week is better…

Thanks you guys. I’m feeling a little better today.

Amandarin, to answer your question: He and I finally spoke this morning. He said he’d been thinking about his schedule/the timing since we first met and apologized for leaving a voicemail yesterday instead of actually talking to me. We decided to be friends, because really, that’s how the best relationships start, and see what place we’re both in when things calm down for him at the store. Who knows what will happen, if anything.

Of course, after that, he had to throw out that his most recent ex-girlfriend offered to work at the store to help him get it off the ground.

I’m sorry that you are sad about this. I’m very glad he was upfront and honest about it. Who knows what will happen in the future.

on to the next.

I hate him, I am going to tell everyone to never go to his store. I am sorry hil, be his friend and he will fall for you….

I know not of what I speak. Many posts ago when he was still just Mr. Tuesday Night, I defended him against those who claimed he was a flake. I stand corrected. He’s a flake. Possibly even a jackass. And very possibly a friend you could do without.

Boo. But don’t give up. They will keep being the wrong ones until they are the right one. And you my dear, are too fabulous. Big hugs to you.

Hilary –

Do you have/own the book, “He’s Just Not That Into You”? ‘Cause if you Don’t, I will happily Send One Your Way as A Hannukkah Present. This is A Classic Case. Right from The Beginning, he gave you Clear Signs that He Was Not Into You. Remember This Experience and Don’t Let It Happen To You Again!

Oh. And I thought of calling you on Friday Night. But, it was already 7:30pm. I figured Everybody Already Had Plans. (One of The Reasons I was So Mad is it was Too Late to Make Plans with Someone Else.) But, I can do something Another Night!!!

Wow, guys can be such aholes. Why couldn’t he just leave it at the too busy thing. I would have been bummed but the girlfriend thing would have just pissed me off. Oh well, perhaps mad is better than sad.

It sounds trite and is a lot easier to say than actually recite to yourself and follow, but, Time really does heal all wounds. And, even though it’s not as though you guys were in a long term serious relationship, you still were interested in him and it’s a bummer that things turned out the way they did. Soon you will meet someone who completely overshadows Mugged Guy and you’ll be able to appreciate the really good thing about this situation:
He actually told you the truth, it seems, and decided to no longer continue to be flaky and lead you on. I think this means that he sees you’re too good for that game playing…and for that you should be very pleased with yourself.

ARGH!! What a roller coaster. Thanks for sharing.

Looking for the Silver Lining . . . Imagine him telling you after a month (or more) of building up your hopes!

Better Silver Lining: True Love is around the corner still, and only looking back will you ever be able see how HE is the right one, and Mugged Guy just could not be.

ARGH AGAIN!!

sorry about that - I know how disappointing dating can be. its too bad you didnt come by the party on fri - there were tons of boys there. mostly gay and/or married, but gay men are great at making you feel better about yourself. at least the ones I hang out with.

Oh barf. I hate hate hate the “remind me I still like her” crap. That door shutting means a new one will open for you.

Ugh, how very disappointing. Hopefully the new year will bring you someone special.

thats it, im ordering a bus to hit him since he couldnt just throw himself under one.

Wow! I feel a certain amount of trepidation about offering a male perspective after reading all those angry comments!

VJ is right to a great degree that this whole overwork thing is killing a lot of potential relationships. I mean, I am all for ambition and being sucessful, but there certainly is a price. I might add that this price seems disproportionately heavy in the Jewish community. (I do have to admit that this whole busy thing made me swear off dating DC lawyers.)

Now about this guy: Well, everyone wants honesty in a relationship, even when it involves the breakup. Guys can be brutally honest, emphasis on brutal. With all the comments I have read here, it is understandable why people often just fade away to avoid confrontation. Well, in this case, he let you down big time, but also left all of us with a lesson in life, I suppose.

One thing I learned in my single days (after disappointments like you have described) is the minute a woman mentioned an ex-boyfriend, I would ask how long ago the breakup was. Too many times I found myself to be the “rebound guy,” i.e., destined for disaster. How long had it been since this guy broke up with the ex-girlfriend? Maybe she was trying to get him back (or use him a little bit more)?

Isn’t it a pi$$er when you get this punch in the solar plexus just when you’ve gotten your hopes up? The work analogy is seeing someone get the promotion you wanted. You just destroy yourself by harboring anger and jealousy. So wish this guy the best and leave him be. Things will work out.

And yeah, time wounds all heels.

Wow, I’m really sorry to read that. It’s better to find these things out sooner than latter. I have been in that boat and if you don’t mind me saying and I mean this in the nicest way possibile, What a smuck.

and a BIG NEXT!

Again the bus would have been easier. If we could actually schedule the bus and perhaps be there, easier still. But that’s just a tad too mean. Cheers & wishing you better luck, ‘VJ’

I’ve said this about him before and it bears repeating: what a fucktard. I’m sorry.

His mentioning the ex-girlfriend at all–even prior to the little “Boo hoo, I’m not over her” sob story–told you all you needed to know.

Mark my words, baby…I was pretty much the only member of the peanut gallery who saw him for exactly what he was. (How much do you want to bet that the ex-girlfriend was the one who’d mugged him?)