I spent most of the weekend feeling like crap so I didn’t make it out of the apartment much. I also slept about 12 hours each night. Here are the not-so-exciting details and other random things:

• Went to the doctor but didn’t need the shot. Now I can’t tell people, “you’re a pain in my ass.” Oh well.
• Bought a humidifier at Target. Got it home, filled it with water, and turned it on. It didn’t work.
• Also bought a Paul & Joe shirt at Target. Cute clothes, who knew?
• Spent Friday night and Saturday feeling pretty damn horrible. For a while, I couldn’t tell which was making me more miserable–the sore throat or the messed up stomach from the antibiotics.
• Baked chocolate crinkle cookies for a Labor Day barbeque and tried a new brownie recipe as well.
• Bought a humidifier at Bed Bath and Beyond. Used a coupon. Got home, filled it with water, turned it on. And it worked. Thank God.
• Those of you who asked about ice cream following the tonsillectomy: I have been advised that sorbet and popsicles are preferable to ice cream because the dairy in ice cream creates mucus and well, this whole thing is just getting gross. But yay for sorbet! And yay for awesome friends willing to bring/send/eat cold treats. You guys rock.
• I am so buying this cupcake courier. (It holds three dozen!) Thanks Jen!

Now I must clean my apartment then get dressed and (hopefully not sit in holiday traffic as I) head out to Culver City for a Labor Day barbeque with cookies in tow.

I know summer is almost over, but in case you’re still planning a visit to Los Angeles, here are some hints on how to be a less obvious tourist.

Jaywalking
No one jaywalks in LA. I’m serious. Even if there is not a car to be seen for a mile, Angelenos will still stand on the curb and wait for the walk sign. This is mainly due to the hefty $80 jaywalking ticket.

Celebrities
Don’t stare. They live here, which means they eat, shop, and walk around here too. If the paparazzi are standing outside a store/restaurant/club, feel free to ask who they are waiting for, but don’t gawk. And please don’t ask me where the best place to see a celebrity is, because I am horrible at recognizing them. Unless they are Richard Simmons in the parking garage of the former Galaxy Theater on Hollywood, because I totally recognized him.

Chrysler Sebring Convertible
Obvious rental car, although apparently popular in West Hollywood. Not sure why.

Driving Any Convertible With The Top Down When It’s less Than 68 Degrees Outside
Angelenos (save for recent transplants) don’t do that. It’s. Too. Cold.

Yielding At An Intersection
Many intersections in LA do not have left turn arrows. This means you have to inch up into the middle of the intersection and wait for pedestrians and traffic to clear before you can turn left. It is important to note that two cars generally turn left when the light sequence turns from yellow to red. I do not know why. That’s just how it is.

The Beach
Contrary to popular belief (and Beverly Hills 90210), there is no Beverly Hills Beach Club. In fact, Beverly Hills is approximately 8.3 miles from the beach. You can’t believe everything you see on TV.

Miles vs. Minutes
It doesn’t matter how many miles away somewhere is, it will take you at least 20 minutes (without traffic) to get there. And remember, estimated driving time is always followed by “without traffic.”

Restaurants
Your server is most likely an unemployed actor/writer/comic/director/producer with a degree from a very expensive university.

Shorts (the clothing not the film)
Wearing shorts when it’s less than 70 degrees means you are either a tourist or a recent transplant to LA. But don’t worry, after a few weeks in LA, you too will be wearing scarves when it hits 65 degrees. Brrr.

For more information, please address all questions to the people selling Star Maps at the corner of Hollywood Blvd. and some side street. And if you’re a local, feel free to add to this list.

You guys were right. Project Runway rocks. Unfortunately, when I try to Tivo the new episodes, it records all of them, including repeats. Same with Laguna Beach. Not that I uh, tried to Tivo that or anything.

In other TV news, what new shows are you looking forward to this fall?
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My readership has tanked since I got sick/stopped going on dates. What gives? No one besides Stacey is interested in hearing about my tonsils? I heard white dots on tonsils are the new black. Or something.
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I ordered the cupcake courier the other day but never received a confirmation email. I used a credit card so I know I’m protected in case it’s never shipped, but still that’s kind of odd. And bad business. Especially since I totally pimped them out on my baking blog.
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I woke up yesterday with another sore throat. Tomorrow is my follow-up visit with the ENT so we’ll see what he says. I want my tonsils out now, I’m tired of always being sick. And, I’m sick of gargling with that Alkalol stuff. Nasty.
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Remember how I mentioned my cousin proposed to his girlfriend a couple of weeks ago? Well, my other cousin (the one I was supposed to visit in Seattle) just announced he recently proposed to his girlfriend as well. So now that makes me the oldest still single cousin. My two older cousins are totally going to have to pay for that, because I so know I’ll be hearing, “Hilary, when are you going to get married?” Ugh.
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This weekend is a friend’s birthday dinner at El Cholo. I hope I’m off the antibiotics by then, because I want a margarita. On the rocks. With salt. Mmm.
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And finally, I am well aware this is a boring post but I’m not feeling well. Or witty. Re-read Tuesday’s post if you need entertainment.

My weekend, in bullet points:

• Friday morning on my way to work I saw a man walking down Little Santa Monica wearing nothing but underwear and a towel around his neck.
• Following the peep show, I went back to the ENT who said: a) the infection looks better, but is not quite gone so let’s do another round of antibiotics (oh yes, please, let’s do!); b) oh, you also have a virus, that is why your temperature is low and your throat is red and hurts so “take it easy” again this weekend (grrr, I have been taking it easy for the past month!); c) my surgery will not be until at least mid-November.
• My workday was then uneventful, and I drove home without seeing any other near naked men. I did however, stop at Savon/CVS in West Hollywood and ohmygod is that place the biggest clusterfuck ever. They are doing construction and everything is all over the place.
• Saturday morning, I woke up to the sounds of a car alarm blaring. Oh yes, the sounds of outside; I had forgotten what they sounded like. That’s because I finally slept with my windows open instead of my air conditioning on for the first time in over a week. There’s really something to be said about fresh air.
• In between four loads of laundry, I called D-Link with the absurd notion that someone there would actually be able to help me configure the WEP encryption on my wireless router. Hah, I’m an idiot. What was I thinking? After about twenty frustrating minutes on the phone with a tech support woman in India, she confirmed about ten times my first and last name, phone number, and that yes, I did want to configure the encryption. Finally, I got tired of the endless echoing on the phone line and hung up, deciding that I will just bring my laptop into work and bribe one of the guys on my team with baked goods so they would do it for me. I hate when companies outsource to India. Hate hate hate it.
• Saturday night was a really fun dinner at El Cholo for Marisa’s birthday. I was one of a few single people there, and although I’m becoming more comfortable going to stuff solo (ok fine, I drove with another friend and her husband), I still feel a little lame. I look forward to one day (hopefully soon) bringing my own plus one.
• I wore my hair straight that night and noticed about an inch of regrowth and a bunch of grays. Fortunately I’m getting my hair colored next weekend.
• Sunday I decided to forgo the Hollywood Farmer’s Market in favor of a very empty Rock and Roll Ralphs. I had forgotten that football started today. It was so nice to shop in an empty store.
• I made buttermilk cupcakes with praline frosting.

And that concludes yet another “take it easy” weekend.

Some recent searches that landed people here:

• what happens if i don t replace my air filter in my home
• how do i stop scabs from forming in my ears?
• tossing bagels jewish tradition
• what makes pickles sour pee
• the margarita guy (I wonder if this person was looking for my margarita guy)
• boyfriend introduces you as friend
• how long does it take to get pregnant at age 32
• swapped rosh hashanah thud shrieks
• what happened october 5th 2005?
• I’m addicted to q-tips
• weekend before a tonsillectomy
• name daisy age 34 status divorced kids no added
• what are people wearing in los angeles this fall?
• when can i have sprite after tonsillectomy
• help me write my jdate profile
• actor in glasses & blue shirt in 1-800-dentist commercial

As always, write a story using at least five of the search phrases. And if you’re a new reader, tell me how you got here. Please.
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In totally unrelated to How You Got Here stuff: Marissa, I saw Aram on the Today show this morning. Mazel tov!

I’m still looking for someone to play tennis with (around a 3.0-3.5 level). So, if I know you, and you know someone who plays, please let me know. I’m looking forward to getting back into playing after the whole tonsil thing has been dealt with.
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I heard a rumor the Gelsons in Century City is selling Sweet Lady Jane treats. This could be potentially dangerous for me.
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Remember DG? He and I exchanged IMs the other day. He asked if I was still interested in seeing him again; I told him not if it meant another month between dates. He then asked if I was free either night this weekend and said he’d make it up to me, he’s sorry, he’s been working 90 hours a week, etc. I told him I already have plans for Saturday, but am free Friday, so we made plans. Then, he of course said it all depended on what time he got off work. I told him to forget it, and to just call me when he knows his schedule, or when they go on hiatus. He then said “I’ll call you tonight.” The phone did not ring, not that I’m surprised.
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I stumbled across this post about one girl’s crazy experience with our airport security. Or apparently, lack thereof.
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I successfully enabled the WEP encryption on my router, thanks to one of the guys at work who told me what to do in less time than it took the D-Link tech support woman in India to confirm my first name. My connection is so much faster now, I’m pretty sure one of my neighbors is going to be ordering DSL of their own shortly.
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The Guster concert is in two weeks, I’m so excited! However, in sad concert news, I had to pass up tickets to the November BNL concert because I will hopefully be eating lots of popsicles and watching bad TV while they’re on stage.
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I bought an all-in-one printer that I am so excited about.
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Project Runway. Jeffrey still bugs. Laura had a larger pregnant belly last week, what gives. I want Michael to win. And in other TV news, The Amazing Race starts Sunday; set your Tivos!

I’m either sick again or the stupid weather is making me feel sick again. Or both. Anyway, details of another pre-tonsillectomy-I-feel-like-crap weekend:

• Friday after work, I spent an hour hooking up and installing my new printer which I received two(!) days after I ordered it online from Amazon. I tested it out and it works beautifully and I am so stoked to finally have a printer and scanner. I can’t believe it took me so long to finally buy a new one.
• Received emails from two friends coming to visit in October; one is pregnant and the other is trying. I cried a little bit, partly because that’s something I want and am so far from it, and partly because of PMS.
• I woke up Saturday morning feeling really icky, then headed out to the Valley (damn was it windy out there) for a manicure/pedicure and a haircut and color and came home and napped.
• Watched a bunch of shows on the Food Network and decided I must get a grill pan. Does anyone have one? Do you use it a lot?
• Also on the food network, I watched the LA episode of Rachel (yes she’s annoying) Ray’s show Tasty Travels and she was all over my hood–The Griddle, Hollywood Farmer’s Market, and Toi on Sunset. Unfortunately, she also described nearly every place in LA as a “Hipster hang out.” Whatever.
• That night, I saw The Last Kiss (majorly disappointing but decent soundtrack) at the Arclight (I love that theater) with Marnie and Nathan.
• Sunday I woke up to a very hot apartment. Yep, it’s Santa Ana time again. Hot and dry. So gross. At least my humidifier is being put to good use.
• Hit the Hollywood Farmer’s Market. The guy at the Korean food stand has started preparing my order as soon as he sees me. Perhaps it’s time I venture out and try something other than tofu potstickers, glass noodles, and kimchee. Or not.
• Baked cookies for my sister. I’m going to mail them to her in NY. I’m hoping they don’t squish and melt. Bethany, be on the lookout!

Now back to another take it easy weekend.

It’s that time again. Okay, it’s been like six months, but whatever. In case you don’t know the rules, this is how it works: You ask a question, I answer. Post it in the comments or send me an email. Ask away!

You can read previous questions and answers here.

Good news: My last appointment with the ENT showed that the antiobiotics are doing what they’re supposed to do; I am currently Strep free which means we can begin the countdown! We’re looking at doing my surgery sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Yay!
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In the last few weeks, I have twice seen tourists carrying a book called California for Dummies. Seriously.
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It’s not too late to Ask. I’ll answer over the weekend.
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A few LA peeps have asked me when the next LA blogger bash will be. Anyone interested in going? Or rather, planning it?
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I’m a Netflix dropout. Yep, I put my account on hold because right now, there’s just too much good stuff to watch on TV.
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Speaking of TV. I really enjoyed the season premiere of How I Met Your Mother and I still want to marry Josh Radnor. I thought Studio 60 was just sort of eh. Law & Order SVU was really freaky, but what’s with Mariska’s character leaving again? I thought the new eps would be post-pregnancy, but she was quite obviously pregnant in the season premiere. And tonight is Grey’s and Six Degrees. Thank god for Tivo. What shows have you enjoyed?
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I love Amazon. When I ordered my all-in-one printer, I noticed that unlike the newer model, the one I ordered didn’t qualify for free shipping. I emailed customer support inquiring as to why, and they explained that not all items qualify, yada yada yada, and due to my misunderstanding, they refunded me the shipping amount. Just like that. I didn’t even ask for a refund. Talk about good customer service!
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And finally, tomorrow afternoon I’m heading down to Del Mar to spend Rosh Hashana with my parents (Bethany is still in NY). May you have a happy, healthy, and sweet new year. Shana tova.

This weekend, in bullet points:

• On my way down to San Diego, I noticed the north side of the 5 was totally stopped. That’s when I noticed a man laying in the middle of the road. Needless to say, I was completely freaked out the rest of the drive down.
• We ate. A lot. In fact, a late lunch at a family friend’s house after shul on Saturday lasted three hours. I know, crazy.
• As always, I had a wonderful time with my family, but missed my sister.
• On my way to visit Julie and her boys (and drop off her cupcake courier), I passed another horrible accident, about a mile from the one I saw the day before. Too scary.
• Julie’s little one is the sweetest child ever. He kept offering me his crackers–he is definitely a wonderful sharer!
• Throughout services, I keep thinking when did everyone get so old?
• I did laundry and went to the market. I love football Sundays–the market was practically empty.
• I baked oatmeal bars.

And that was my Rosh Hashana weekend. (No, I haven’t gotten to the questions yet. Tomorrow, I promise.) Shana tova.

You asked. And here are my answers. (Click Read on… at the bottom of the post to read the rest of the answers.)

Karen asked (via email): How do you prevent the guys you meet from not finding your blog? Have they ever found it? What kind of synagogue/Jewish community do you belong to (if you do)? What are some other blogs I should check out? Do you feel weird about the fact that total strangers read your blog?
Well, I just hope they don’t find it. Lately, I’ve been writing fewer details about my dates for fear of someone finding it. Fortunately, my readership isn’t that large, and I believe the majority of my readers are female. And so far, I’ve been lucky.

(Read on …)

Last time they were general. This time, they’re all about the office building. And of course, feel free to add to the list.

If you are waiting for the elevator and get in before everyone inside gets out, you will have to stop on every floor. Twice.

If you use the last piece of paper towel and leave the empty roll on the paper towel holder in the kitchen, you will no longer be allowed to eat any goodies I bring in.

If you initially refuse to leave the office because it’s just a fire/evacuation drill and you have important work to do, then you will have to take the stairs, not the elevator, for a week. Regardless of what floor you are on.

If you don’t bother to say hello when I see you in the hall, yet call me for help with Word because you know I am very familiar with it and you don’t want to go through the proper channel known as the Helpdesk, you may not whine that I can’t help you right away and may possibly find yourself toward the end of the queue.

If you fall asleep and snore loudly in the lunchroom while I’m trying to eat and read my book, you better believe I’m going to slam every door I possibly can, as loudly as I possibly can.

If you steal my yogurt from the fridge one more time, you may find yourself eating a very old yogurt with the sell by date scratched off.

If you smoke (who does that anymore anyway?) two feet from the doors of my office building, thus blowing smoke in my face as I enter or exit, you are no longer allowed to be annoyed when I fan the smoke out of my face. And more importantly, your face will be permanently stuck in that bizarre smoke blowing look with your mouth forming a little O shape.

Rules will be strictly enforced.

As you may have read in previous posts, I’ve been baking cookies and cupcakes for showers and parties. It’s turning into a little side business, and I need to pick a name for it. Any suggestions?
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The mayor and many others are in Century City today as part of the first ever Century City Emergency Preparedness and Health Expo right across the street from my office. Just thought I’d share.
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In related to Century City news, I’m having my surgery on November 21 at the Century City Doctors Hospital. Useless hospital fact: patients’ meals are off a menu created by Wolfgang Puck and prepared by his on-site staff. Only in LA.
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Tuesday night in the elevator of my apartment building, I heard, “Hi, this is Steve. I’ll only take a minute of your time. Are you in the market for new carpet?” Keep in mind I was alone in the elevator. Following a few utterances of “what the fuck,” I realized the voice was coming from the telephone speaker in the elevator. Yep, some company managed to call our elevator. At least I know that next year when we get stuck in the elevator on Father’s Day, I can always use the phone.
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I’ve had some good food this week. I made this broccoli and garlic pasta (try it, it’s so simple and good!) and had another yummy dinner with lovely conversation at Cha Cha Cha.
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In TV news, I thought this week’s How I Met Your Mother was awesome. I haven’t gotten around to watching Studio 60 yet (not sure I’m going to). I sooo want the brothers to win on the Amazing Race. Project Runway was a total disappointment–I was hoping Jeffrey would get booted. And my Tivo cut off the end so I missed the previews for next week…anything good? And what do you think of the shows?
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Tomorrow night is the Guster concert, then Saturday I’m off to SD for Yom Kippur and a long weekend with my family (in my parents’ newly remodeled house).
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And finally, just wanted to say get well to Bethany, and I can’t wait to see you this weekend!

This week I:

• Realized I bought the same book at Target twice in two weeks.
• Had fun dinners with friends.
• Woke up to find the milk in the pantry and the cereal in the fridge.
• Came to the conclusion there’s just not enough time in the week to watch everything on my Tivo.
• Cut my finger with my thumbnail.
• Told my mom something my cousin told me. Then couldn’t figure out when he told me and wondered if I made it up.
• Heard the voice of a man named Steve trying to sell me carpet in the elevator.
• Baked then froze sugar cookies (for the break-the-fast) that I will frost in SD.
• Went downstairs, got in my car, then thought I left my flat iron on. Went back upstairs only to find that in fact, it was turned off.
• Was late to work every single day.
• Missed the end of Grey’s Anatomy thanks to Tivo.
• Saw my sister on Six Degrees.

Tonight is the Guster show. Hooray!

…I started this blog at its old home on blogspot and dazzled the blogosphere with this brilliant post.

Uh yeah. It’s safe to say that was before I found my voice. And back when bling was still called bling bling.

Thanks for reading!