Wait! Wait! I know the answer to this one. “C,” right?

Okay. The correct answer is A. He should have called you if he ever wanted to see you Ever Ever Again. Ever.

It all depends if you have generic Q-Tips in your bathroom. If you have generic Q-Tips, I never call you again.

Otherwise, I’ll e-mail you.

he should’ve at least emailed.

Where is this guy? Can I kick his a**?

d) neither of the above.

Of course he *tried* to call, but there’s crappy cell reception on The Bus.

he should’ve called to wish you a happy birthday. plain and simple. no more cupcakes for him.

Early on, you yourself said you didn’t see anything long-term with this guy. Sounds as though you are right.

But here’s another point, bound to make me unpopular. Perhaps mentioning your approaching birthday to this guy added pressure he couldn’t handle. Like, maybe he wonders whether he has to get you a present, whether you do/don’t have better things to do on your birthday than talk to him, etc. It’s kind of a milestone step in a *relationship* to do the birthday thing. And your tentative acquaintanceship might not be strong enough for such milestones.

A friend of mine never tells anyone at work it is her birthday. If they thought about it, she would be a birthday-free person. This works wonderfully — no awkwardness about taking her to lunch, asking her age, etc. I have now adopted her approach. I do not tell colleagues or casual acquaintances it is my birthday. Only people close to me know.

But, as always, this kind of thing is a symptom. I would not be surprised if DG were out of the picture entirely by, say, Labor Day, if not before. Or maybe it’s a litmus test. If he really were the guy for you, he wouldn’t blow off your birthday.

calling is the right thing to do - its just good manners. email or IM is acceptable, but less preferable. the point is to at least acknowledge your birthday. that said, birthdays can be a lot of pressure and maybe he freaked a little. but still no excuse.

What about pressure in general? Gotta back off a bit, Hil. I don’t know the guy, of course, but it’s doubtful he’s playing “The Age Game” and angling to marry someone he met this month in the space of a year. Even if he’s having thoughts in that direction, there isn’t a deadline attached.

Happy birthday.

Okay, maybe I’m missing something. I didn’t think calling and saying “happy birthday” translated to “I love you and want to be the father of your children.” I just thought it would be a nice thing, especially given he said he’d call the previous day but didn’t.

Yes, I understand the frustration. But what signals are YOU giving off? It’s not always a deficiency with the fella.

I’m with you, Hil…some sort of Happy Birthday message is not too much to ask for.

For what it’s worth, I had only been seeing R for about a month (slightly less) when my bday came along. He not only wanted to take me out (a couple of days before the actual bday, because I already had plans), but he bought me gifts as well. It was our 5th date.

I’m sorry, what was the question? I’m still fixated on your previous post re Naked Neighbor. Now there’s a post topic!

e) die alone with an incredibly powerful right hand and 9 cats named after Mick Jagger paramours.

Ari nails it again.

And I have to disagree with PTwelve and agree with Hilary, that after three dates, all that’s really required is for him to follow through and call when he says he’s going to. If not, he better have a good excuse. After three dates, that’s all I’d expect, and maybe a “have a great birthday, and we’ll catch a drink in celebration next week.” How hard is that, really?

It’s not hard at all if he’s no longer interested.

He should call/email/IM ASAP with warm wishes and a proposed low-key celebratory outing. It is not too “heavy” to wish someone (even a new acquaintance) a happy birthday. Which I hope you had despite his lame ass!

why buy the cow…

Forget. He. Existed.

It doesn’t matter *why* he didn’t call.

It just matters that he had the opportunity to do a small, small thing - a token phone call — that would have required very little effort and would have been nice. And he chose not to.

Don’t you deserve someone who would choose to be nice to you?

Just to clarify: He did not call Sunday or yesterday. He did IM me “happy birthday” yesterday.

Hey, this same thing just happened to me! Only there hadn’t been an actual “date”, and there hadn’t been a promise to call, but I did get just a MySpace (gag) one-liner from someone I recently spent some time with whom I’m holding in the “friends, maybe more” category. And I have to say, maybe it’s because I’m a bit of a princess, who knows, but I’m a little disappointed in anyone, friend/boy/whatever, who doesn’t go at least a little out of his way to give me good wishes. Maybe that’s because I would go out of my way.

And I sort of feel like I know, because he didn’t do this, that he’s not someone I really want anyway (and for the other reason that he’s frequently bad at being in touch), but annoyingly I do still feel chemistry for him, so I’m going to be pining for a bit yet. Like, he would go out of his way if he really liked me, and I’m content enough single to not want to be with someone unless he is “constantly adding,” as my other (also single) friend says. I’d even be annoyed at a just-friend for skipping my bday!

Happy birthday to us!

Go to a support group or something if you need that kind of ego gratification. Your birthday is just another day, you want to really do something special, call your mom - that is who you owe your birthday to.

I think that if the guy is clearing 150k, has a swimmer’s body, and wears boxers, you go for it.

Support Group, you obviously didn’t read what H said. DG said he would call her on Sunday. He did not. Therefore, she was hoping he would call (rather than IM) on her birthday.

Why such a mean comment? She’s bummed a guy didn’t call. Let her be.

I think it is the LEAST he can do, pick up the phone and say happy freaking birthday.

Where did common courtesy go? Man.

Sorry he turned out to be such a dud.

Obviously you want to cut this guy out of your life. He doesn’t deserve you. I recently had a situation with a guy that I had just started dating. We had gone out three times, all to events that were “free” basically because I knew he was poor. But I didn’t feel it was fair to judge someone just on their income or lack thereof. He made sure to mention that his 40th birthday was approaching within three weeks of our original meeting. I offer to help him celebrate. What I thought was originally going to be $150. expense turned in to him inviting 16 people, all of them having dinner and wine on me and he stuck me with a huge bill. During the dinner, he was rude and dismissive towards me… the next day, he emails me to tell me that he had met someone else and no longer wanted to see me and was in love with her.

LOL, go figure!

Cheryl Shuman
http://www.JetSetDate.Blogspot.com

bastard!

you. are. over. it.

OK, at some level, mentioning your birthday means that you want him to REMEMBER that fact. After all, if the relationship does work out, you will certainly want him to remember your birthday, well, in perpetuity.

From my perspective, I feel that even after three dates he should have the courtesy to CALL (and not just e-mail or IM). I mean, how hard is it, unless there was some family emergency (in which case he could e-mail or IM you a valid excuse)?

I think there’s not too much of a future with this guy unless he makes dinner for you (and not just takes you out somewhere) or does something equivalent. Make him put in some sweat equity if he wants to keep you!

Personally, I’m the kind of guy who remembers all kinds of useless trivia (like obscure birthdays). Sometimes I will even commemorate one of these historic facts on my office voice mail. So for me, it would come naturally to remember the birthday of a woman I was dating. Hey, I even went to Wikipedia and copied the “Today in History” link on your birthday, and I don’t even know you! Hey, it was a good trade for printing out one or two of your recipes.

Well, my wife would kill me if I ever forgot her birthday. Lucky me it’s in January when everything is on sale. LOL

Good luck, and remember, you also have a birthday on the Hebrew calendar. Maybe it’s a way of having a second chance!

Write this man a thank you note.

Revealing his ungenerous personality at this early stage was, in itself, a fotuitous gift.

Lucky You & Happy Birthday