I’ve been watching too much “So You Think You Can Dance” because your last paragraph reminds me of something they’d say to the contestants.

Everyone has an edge to them. Typically it can be quite unpleasant. Untypically it’s well hidden behind all the layers. Or perhaps there’s not much of an ‘edge’ there to begin with. Those are good folks too, just not the overy popular ones. Glad you had a fun time though. Sounds more like your speed too. Cheers & Good Luck! ‘VJ’

So glad you had a good time!

the whole edge thing - it’s only because he is nice and seems keen. if he was distant or not calling when he said he would, then he’d have the edge. Edge is over rated - stick with the nice guys!

I married for the first time because of edge. I married my now-husband because he opened doors, grabbed the bill, complimented me and never kept me hanging about the next date. Guess which one is the better marriage? I get a cupcake if you guess right.

Ah, lack of edge! I dated a guy like the one you’re describing. He was sweet, eager, asked me lots of good questions (although he didn’t get the bill), did interesting work, was generally nice guy with nothing wrong with him (well, he had a ponytail, which I hated). I went out with him several times. Couldn’t put my finger on what was missing.I finally concluded that he was a little boring. Sometimes “edge” can mean a sparkle of wit/sarcasm/quirkiness. Not to say that couldn’t emerge with this guy (does he get a name?), but I know what you mean.

Maybe he’ll develop an edge. I love a guy who opens doors.

Sounds really good so far, Hilary! You’ll learn more about him as you go out with him and hopefully the thing that’s seemingly missing will really be there all along.

LA could use more guys without an edge. In fact, having no edge may just be his edge.

I’m not sure what you mean by edge…but I went out with plenty of perfectly nice guys who just didn’t “click” with me. There was something missing. Call it chemistry, call it a spark, call it whatever, but I do believe it’s important.

If that’s what it is, you’ll know soon. But if you’re just confused about the lack of drama…well…here’s hoping!

Meg, Singles is one of my favorite movies.

Personally, I like women with a slight edge — like Dori said, wit/sarcasm/quirkiness. Without an edge, people can be very bland & vanilla. There’s a way of having an edge without being rude or mean or bitchy.

Sounds to me like he was a test tube baby. A lot of times it’s the test tube babies that have no edge to themselves cause they never battled against the walls of the womb.

Next time you go out with him, ask him if he was conceived in a dish or inside the “you know what.”

my current boyfriend had no edge when we first dated. he still opens doors, grabs the bill, compliments me and makes me laugh like crazy. maybe date guy is just nervous. it took a few dates before i could decide if i even liked my boyfriend because he seemed so boring. but he’s not.

Think good thoughts. I will think them for you as well. He sounds great!!!

As you already know, I think you’re perfect together…

In case anyone didn’t understand Leslie Erin’s comment, you can read all about how she finds my blog bland and pathetic over here.

I’m sure she loves comments. And she probably just forgot her name and her url.

Wow. Leslie is a trip — a bit caustic for my tastes.

EDGE? Well, maybe chemistry might be a better word. I’ve heard it called a spark. Or as in Sleepless in Seattle . . . magic when your hands touch.

P.S. I love you how you try to use good grammar. It’s a lost art.

sometimes an edge needs time to develope,at least he doesn’t seem phony.

i agree with all the above - sometimes an “edge” or even great chemistry takes time so that you’re comfortable first. but it definitely sounds 3rd date worthy! and glad to hear you had a good time on the first two. have a great weekend!

Hilary, I’m happy for you. Stop looking for what is missing and start acknowledging all that you see there. Getting to know someone does take time, especially when it’s just a date here or there for a couple of hours.

I wish you the best!

Wow. I wonder if Erin/Leslie thinks I am Really Edgy because I Capitalize Words In The Middle Of Sentences. Here’s Hoping!

Oh. And Stop Looking For Problems! It sounds like this one is a Nice Guy. Appreciate it, Hilary! You deserve it.

Have you ever read Straight Talking by Jane Green? I know everyone makes fun of chick lit, but that one made me think a bit, and I think it’s relevant to your post.

Hil:

I agree with Tamara 110%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MOM

Thanks Hil’s mom!

Bottom line is dating sucks and when someone who has been on so many dates that go nowhere finally meets a good one, it’s so easy to subconciously sabotage it. I guess one has to look at each new circumstance with new eyes. G-d knows I was dateless for a long time with a few scattered weirdos mixed in. I was hopeless at times, but when a new opportunity comes up…I remind myself to be as open as I can.

Good luck again Hilary.

If he hugs you on the 3rd date, he’s obviously an android and you should run far far far away from his robotic clutches. Trust me. That’s all the relationship will consist of. Hugging. And no one wants that for you, Hil. You deserve more!!

truth be told, i feel kinda bad about writing mean comments on your blog. they were mean and i’m actually not like that usually….i was being immature and i am sorry.

but seriously, is there a way to use butter instead of shortening in those cupcakes? it concerns me, all that trans fat. though i know the trans fat is what makes things like cupcakes delicious.

Um. What about the shit you said about her in YOUR blog? Who cares about the cupcakes?

I understand the need for edge. I’m attracted to way too much edge. And Erin shouldn’t diss this blog. You get more comments than any personal blog I’ve ever seen. Your readers love the blog. I wish my blog was so “bland and pathetic.”