You enjoy his company. You laugh when you are with him. He does not keep you trapped in a locked cage in the basement. Therefore; you are still able to meet other baby hungry men. Also… CL, does he write in stone? No? Hmm… so you never know. I want to tell you to not limit yourself. You never know what will happen and at the same time there is nothing - nothing - holding you back from meeting other men.

If I were a Jewish nana, which I desp. hope to be one day, I would even go so far as to say that men like the challenge of a happy not looking for love girl. That alone might bring you your baby daddy that much sooner. Do I make any sense? I may be saying this poorly.

Your mom knows what I mean. Ask her

One of the (many!) reasons I got rid of my ex-boyfriend was because of the kid issue. I felt that I couldn’t afford to wait for him to make up his mind. He didn’t understand this. His position was that I should stay with him in the meantime and he might or might not decide he wanted children. He didn’t quite get the whole biological clock thing and thought it was wierd that I would think that far ahead. Ugh.

I agree with Ari. Do not stop dating CL guy as you have NO agreement that says you cannot date other men. Date more than one at a time…why not??? How fun!!!

Also, men DO want fun and happy people around them…not a gal just “looking for Marriage.” Also, I know I have said this before, but, when a man falls deeply in love he often changes his mind about when and IF he wants kids. Your father, for one. He was really unsure about kids…and…here you 2 girls are. You both are the lights of his life and he adores you and Bethany more than anything or anyone (’cept me of course)!!!!

By the way, Ari are you MY age or just a VERY mature young woman???????

Love you, HIL

MOM

Do what feels right. CL Guy has a lot of…um, eccentricities, and you’ve been very open and willing to give him a chance despite those eccentricities. Only you can decide if the list of things about him that give you pause is too long or not. If you keep seeing him, I will be your #1 cheerleader for that (well, maybe #2, after your Mom)…and if you decide not to keep seeing him, I will be your #1 cheerleader for that, too.

I hear you on this, Hil. A friend of mine’s going through something similar but totally different–the guy already has kids from his previous marriage, but doesn’t want any more. She’s not ready to give up that chance at motherhood. I’m not sure what she’s going to do, but hope to speak to her soon about this…

Whatever you do will be the right choice, and I’ll be supporting you like everyone else here.

I wouldn’t rule CL guy out just yet. Not being sure about kids is not the same as definitely not wanting them. For many people it’s a matter of meeting the right person. I have a friend who is 40. At 36 she had resigned herself to not having kids because it wasn’t on her horizon. She had almost grown fond of the idea. Then she met her husband and began to realize that there was no way she didn’t want to have kids with him. Now she has 2 of them. Give it a little time if you enjoy his company. The more time you spend together, the more clues you’ll get. It sounds like you’re having fun, so go with it for a bit. (And of course be open to meeting other cute boys while you’re at it.)

I’m with Ari & ‘Mom’ on this one. The kids issue is a major one, but this early, it’s really impossible to tell much. Most guys who have been single a long time tend not to think of kids much, but like Denise and others mention, it can grow on you when you’re with someone you’ve come to love.

And AL, there’s not a human on this earth who gets to 39 or even 35 w/o many, many strange eccentricities. As we get older we come to recognize that each individual has a unique character that is almost never replicated anyplace else. Honestly it’s amazing at times that we can even communicate adequately given the differing understanding there is of so many issues.

On the kids issue, it rarely is a hard and fast rule, and if it is, there will be plenty of loud and obvious hints about it. It is indeed a make or break issue for many people, so with time it usually does resolve itself one way or another. In the meantime, have some fun and keep your eyes open. It’s way too early to be contacting the preschools yet. Cheers & Good Luck! ‘VJ’

i’m with Ari and your mom on this too! as is everyone i think!!!!

your mom’s right! listen to her.

damn, did i just say that?!?!?

I understand what everyone is saying, and by no means am I limiting myself only to him–there um, just haven’t been any other potential candidates lately–sad state of affairs.

I could be Denise’s friend (although I am not quite yet 40 nor do I have kids). I was adamant about NOT having kids - EVER. And, although not particularly interested in getting married, I had pretty much decided that wasn’t in my future either.

Then, I met the man who made/makes me want to get married and have babies. *gasp* We’ve even discussed names. **bigger gasp**

People are still reeling over this revelation … first and foremost: ME!!!

Your CL Guy is just Speaking Nonsense! It is my experience that Most Men are Fixer-Uppers. You can take him shopping and Buy Him Better Shoes, get him to Clean Out His Car, and even Make Him Want To Have Babies. Not that I have actually ever accomplished these feats. But, still, I have read that You Can in Cosmo.

I dont want kids at all. But the minute I fall in love with someone I start thinking… well… maybe one? Love changes people so don’t give up on him yet.

The only thing that matters right now is how you feel about him. Period. If you like hanging out with him, continue to do so and eventurally things will become more clear. I’m here for you no matter what you decide to do.

I am with mom, but you need to do what feels right. If you think about how he doesn’t want kids constantly when you’re with him, then you’re not having a good time.

What Annabel said.

Go to the grocery store at around 1pm on a Sunday. Stand in the candy aisle. I gaurantee that within 5 minutes, you won’t want kids either.

i take it back, i’m with smoove d here! haha