I would have been pissed too. It’s rude, on all accounts. I also might have felt bad about being rude, as you did. So I can see the predicament.

But the bottom line is — did he apologize??

You should have never given him the out. Then you could have been rightfully bitchy.

YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!!!! REMEMBER, THE GLASS IS HALF FULLLLLLL

I think that it is great that he thought of you when he was so busy and by the sounds of it he really wanted to see you. As someone who never has free time and has to cancel a lot due to work obligations, I think it is very understanding that you called and apologized for being bitchy. It’s never a good time when you go out and are dog tiered, only going out not to be an asshole for canceling. On the other side I’m a girl, and have done the rush to get ready thing and know how frustrating it is to get canceled after getting cute for someone. I wouldn’t rule him out yet. Wait till next week and see if anything progresses.

Since everyone else is bashing CL guy, I’m going to defend him. He’s in production. That’s hell. I know. From both sides. Not only are you focused entirely on production, but you also have no time, and are really tired. When I was in production, I pretty much called no one.

But he can’t stop thinking about you. He feels neglectful. He wants to see you. He knows he doesn’t have time. But he tried anyway. He thought he could have a burst of energy. He had no intention of standing you up. He got home and it hit him. He thought he couldn’t be charming and funny and was probably going to fall asleep on you. So, he cancelled. And he feels awful doing it. Really awful.

You’re right to be pissed. You’re wrong to express it to him. He was trying to see you. He’s in the middle of production, but he wants to make you a priority. You need to cut him some slack.

Guys can never win. When a guy does what CL guy did, you get reactions like those above. When I did something very similar to PW, people jumped all over me and told me she should dump me.

I just want to know what I was doing wrong on Jdate that I never ever had dates. Hmmm, it just may not be my medium. Guess it’s good I cancelled. But as they say, people leave Jdate, but they ALWAYS come back LOL…I hope that someday you too NEVER have to go back to Jdate!

I’ll say I agree with much of what Dave has to say. I also think it’s perfectly natural to be PO’d at him, and fine to express that too, as long as he understood it was out of frustration that you vented. If your time is valuable to you, it should be to him. Perfectly understandable.

A lot of this goes to the fact that people are just incredibly more busy with their jobs than used to be the case, especially for younger folks. Even with the magic of media communications intervention here, it’s still amazingly more difficult today to arrange regular meeting times for ‘dates’, or even friends. 9-5 just does not apply to all that many jobs today, and this creates all sorts of social and personal strains and societal dislocations. For example for families it’s about a 100 Less hours a year that they get to spend with their kids from the prior generation of parents (Ca. 1980). That’s pretty damn meaningful.

So Jdate might make it seem simpler, but a job where you’re always tethered to the office or where you just normally work many weekends is really a ‘killjoy’ for the dating life. Ditto for family life too, but again that’s another story. Cheers & Good Luck! ‘VJ’

I think you should dump this guy. He may be well-meaning, but he’s too busy for you and I don’t care how tired he is, it’s inexcusable that he cancelled on you like that, especially after you gave him the out. YOU are the prize, not him.

Who needs boys when you’ve got girls’ night out to look forward to?

Dave is misguided. Sure, people get busy and tired and need to cancel plans. But this is not an established relationship. It is a nascent albeit quickly devolving and murkily defined something-or-other. Nobody who really likes a girl is so busy that he behaves the way CL guy is behaving.

Does anyone reading this blog really believe that we will be checking in around, say, Memorial Day, to read that this association has developed into a meaningful, lasting, fulfilling partnership? Not hardly.