Whoa-why didn’t you share all that info before? I sure it would have gotten mom off of your back!!

I still can’t believe that bumper sticker I saw last night

YIKES! No wonder you’re torn on whether or not you’d go out with him again. You should have taken the first glass of water he gave you and threw it in his face!

Some of these are indeed very odd. The jeans thing doesn’t bother me, but the others certainly do. I’d be torn as well….though likely leaning towards not seeing him again.

Trust you gut. If it seems wrong then you are likely right. Please stay safe.

What bumper sticker, Bethany?

that is REALLY wierd that he dodged answering what school he went to.

what are “dickies”? Is that another thing you can’t get in Canada?

and ps: what do you mean IF you want to go out with him again…?

and pps: If you found him on CL…maybe you get what you pay for.

Nanette: I totally should have. I wish I had thought of that!

LaSirena: Dickies are a brand popular with um…skater types I think? I added the link so you can check it out. And ps I know and pps you’re right.

Jillian used to work for Dickies!!

Dude! Dating rule #1: if the words “rude asshole,” come out of either of your mouths on the first date, chalk it up to funky energy, cut your losses, and go home!

it said “IT’S OKAY TO SAY MERRY X-MAS!”

Ok now let me do the translation bit for those playing at home and wondering what the old men are up to. Mr. CL obviously does not get out much, and has not dated much for a long while. Hence the drink scenario. Rude, yes. Inexcusable? Perhaps time will tell. This goes as well for the lack of jeans. There’s many guys his age who honestly don’t own a pair, or have out grown them years ago. (I know, hard to believe). This would make him a bit conservative, but that’s not the troubling part here.

He perhaps has some past unresolved trust issues, and is unwilling to ‘come clean’ about some ’simple’ aspects of his past or work that people should normally be proud of. This is not an especially good sign, but it may be the habits of a very conservative mindset. As in you only get to that aspect of his life on a ‘need to know basis’. If this is true, and he’s just in the habit of being overly protective of his work or his personal life, that might not be too troublesome. But we are still uncertain of his need or reasons for withholding these simple bits of information.
Perhaps he’s been troubled in the past by people just judging him on his work, and he seeks a more honest connection with someone. But be that as it may, we now have some better insight into why he’s still single at 39. He’s cagey and perhaps a bit squirrely.

What is an even more serious possibility is if he has acquired someone else’s identity, and is in fact an ‘impostor’, and is just playing this as some sort of game. I trust Hilary has ruled this out, but this is not at all that uncommon a scenario for the criminally minded. That’s a serious concern and enough of one that you might want to mention it to him on any future date, should it progress from there. But typically, most guys will love to talk and tell you of their past adventures & present successes. Why he can’t come up with his school is a bit sketchy, unless he’s got a specific reason behind avoiding this disclosure, like never having graduated. (Which of course has never been a bar of entry into the industry or a requirement for employment of your imagination and artistic talents). Again not all that good scores on the ‘Spidey sense’ on these issues.

Relationships must be founded on trust, and this starts early. You have to know that the people you share your life with are dependable & trust worthy. If he can not be forthcoming on the truly simple stuff, how do you know when you can rely on him to be truthful about more difficult matters? Like ‘Does my ass look fat in these pants?’ A question that every husband & bf knows to avoid answering at all costs! (OK not a good example, but you get the point). I hope this helps some. Cheers & Good Luck! ‘VJ’

I’m very sorry to say this but the water thing would have been a deal-breaker, because the first thing I ask myself–”is he going to be like that every single time he gets drunk?” No thanks! I don’t know you but I know your blog persona (one and the same, no? LOL) but I think you can do better. He sounds mad sketchy and little too much like my ex-boyfriend (hence the bias, because the ex was/is an ass…just ask Tamara!)

Oy, you had me ad “dickies”. My mother, who is 5′1, and in her 50’s, and a size 12, owns like 15 pairs of jeans. Good jeans like the cool kids are wearing, Rock and Republic, Paige, Citizens, etc. The secret is she goes to the store and tries on different styles and buys the ones that look good on her. And they do! So how my mom can do that, but this (I’m assuming) normally proportioned guy can claim that he can’t find jeans that fit/look good, to the point that he wears “work pants” in this age of the Couture Jean, is simply an excuse to not put any effort in. And, um, single guy? turning 40? Maybe it’s time to put in some effort. Unless he can do a half pipe or 360 or whatever.

ps Otherwise known as La Sirena…I just realized my computer defaulted as Spinster Hermit.

I would have to agree the water incident is a pretty major red flag. Because a person is generally on his absolute best, good-impression behavior on a first date. Certainly I’m not the only guy who constantly hears the complaint from his wife that he isn’t nearly as sweet or well-mannered as he was during the first few dates.

So, if this guy can’t be bothered to get a glass of water for a woman he, in theory, is trying to impress on the VERY FIRST DATE, well, just imagine what a jerk he’ll be when he’s comfortable around you

ditch him!

rude asshole = no thanks!!

Sounds like he has more issues than Esquire. Refusing to name his school and denying easily verifiable credits screams pathalogical liar.

I can also be super critical on first dates, (which is why I went on so many of them, I guess), but the water thing? Not really ok. That would definitely have pissed me off. I don’t know — alchohol aside, it just sounds like was trying to prove something to you? He might have some baggage, and hey, we all have it, but he should have checked it on his first date with you.

The other stuff? More forgivable, and more open to multiple interpretation, whereas the water thing just screams, “rude asshole”, exactly as you called it.