FAQ: This Jew and Christmas

Q. Have you bought your tree yet?
A. I don’t celebrate Christmas, I’m Jewish.

Q. But why don’t you have a tree? It’s a Pagan thing, not a religious thing.
A. Do you have a Menorah and light Hanukkah candles?

Q. What do you do on Christmas Eve?
A. Either a) Go to Stu and Lew; b) Go to a Jewish comedy thing at a Chinese restaurant [and meet a goy comic]; c) Go to my parents’ house for the weekend; or d) Stay home, watch all the Law & Order episodes saved on my Tivo, and enjoy a very quiet Los Angeles.

Q. What do you do on Christmas Day?
A. Either a) Go to or rent a movie; b) Go for Chinese food; c) Go to or rent a movie and go for Chinese food; d) Go to and rent a movie and go for Chinese food; or e) Any combination of a through d after helping serve Christmas dinner at a shelter/senior center/etc.

Q. Are you Scrooge?
A. Only when I’m forced to listen to Christmas music in a store/restaurant/public place and am wished a Merry Christmas for the 100th time. [ed. note: Please, please, please, wish people Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. Please.]

Q. Have you ever decorated a Christmas tree?
A. Yes, in fifth grade at Marian’s house–we even strung popcorn and put it on the tree. And earlier this week, at my office.

Q. Have you finished your Christmas shopping?
A. I don’t celebrate Christmas, remember?

Q. You mean you don’t get gifts on Christmas?
A. Um, do you get gifts on Hanukkah? [ed. note: Why is this one so difficult for some people to comprehend?]

I believe that covers the basics. Check back in the spring for FAQ: Matzah and the Easter Bunny.

14 Comments »

Stacey

December 8th, 2005 | 9:35 pm

17 more days and it’s over, but who’s counting?

elise

December 9th, 2005 | 1:34 am

do you really get annoyed when people wish you a merry xmas? that does sound a bit scroogey, hil, they are just trying to be nice! i’m jewish, and still kind of like the christmas season, but definitly don’t celebrate it!

First Date Chick

December 9th, 2005 | 5:36 am

Ohmigod…I can’t stand when folks insist, “It’s not a religious” holiday!” Yeah, that whole “Jesus’s Birthday” thing is completely pagan.

hilary

December 9th, 2005 | 5:41 am

do you consider songs like “jingle bells” to be christmas music?

Ari

December 9th, 2005 | 7:29 am

When wished a merry xmas I just smile and say thank you, “Happy Kwanzaa to you and yours as well”. Honestly though, I love the season, the lights and the (for the most part) the enhanced mood everyone is in.

Merry Kwanzukkahmas Hilary my dear ;)

marissa

December 9th, 2005 | 8:53 am

I’m with ari. I love this time of year - I feel like we get to enjoy the lights, the eggnog, the mulled wine, etc without the a) pressure to consume (not the wine, of course, that’s our duty to consume) and b) the pressure to feel holiday cheer. all the upside, none of the downside. ok downside: traffic and the music. my waxer is buddhist and even she gets irritated witn the non-stop xmas music at the salon.

can’t wait for my family’s xmas tradition also: movies and chinese food. the only problem this year is choosing the movie. I’ll have seen everything I want to see by then.

p.s. brokeback mountain is amazing. really beautiful love story.

Keith

December 9th, 2005 | 9:03 am

Marissa — it’s not just your family’s tradition, it’s a well-known Jewish tradition that’s been passed down from generation to generation. I’ll be doing the movies-and-Chinese-food thing as well, and so will my friends and all of our families (though for many of us, not with our families).

I love Christmas lights, I love eggnog. I actually miss the Christmas season. Every year, my family used to go into New York to see the giant tree in Rockefeller Center, the storybook windows at Saks and FAO Schwarz, and I loved it. New York at Christmastime is a wonderful thing, but I haven’t been in 4 years and I miss it a lot.

What I hate is the incessant Christmas music, the fact that the Christmas season starts at Labor Day, and — like First Date Chick — how everyone insists that it’s not a religious holiday. Hello, why are people now complaining that they’re taking the “Christ” out of “Christmas”?

justin

December 9th, 2005 | 10:51 am

Do you leave cookies out for Santa?

If you don’t, I’ll eat them.

Meg

December 9th, 2005 | 12:04 pm

I don’t know if eggnog is a specifically

Meg

December 9th, 2005 | 12:05 pm

I don’t know if eggnog is a specifically Christian drink, but it is delicious and I look forward to making it every year. Here’s the recipe.
Yum!

marissa

December 9th, 2005 | 1:09 pm

keith - where i grew up movies and chinese was not just my family’s tradition, nor just a jewish one. the theater near my parents is also packed with muslim, hindu, and buddhist. same for the restaurants. sort of a smattering of “other.”

Dave

December 11th, 2005 | 7:19 am

Over the years, people always seem to get upset when I tell them I’m not spending Christmas with my family. “You can’t be alone at Christmas!” [Actually put that in my novel.]

Christmas Eve for me is usually watching “Die Hard.” Best. Christmas. Movie. Ever. And the Chinese.

Jdater

December 11th, 2005 | 11:55 am

I can’t wait until Hannukah. For Hannukah I would like to have a nice man. Well, I’m on jdate, ever since the end of October, and I’ve been blogging my experiences. I had a wonderful date last Friday. He took me salsa dancing. He hasn’t called me back yet but he told me that he is busy with marking exams. I caught him online. So I’m waiting for a Hanukkah miracle!

vera

December 12th, 2005 | 3:43 pm

I like your Q&A concept of getting a point across.

Everyone should just say Happy Holidays and leave it at that..V

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