Conversations at Rite-Aid (or, Hanukkah’s Been Discontinued)
Let me preface this by saying I hate the Rite-Aid in my neighborhood, and only went to it because a) I was hoping to avoid the parking structure and super slow elevator at the West Hollywood Sav-on and b) it’s right by my apartment. I went in for three items: night-light bulbs, cough suppressant so I can sleep tonight (I have a horrible cough), and Hanukkah wrapping paper. Should have been easy, right?
Me: Hi. I’ve walked around the entire store but seem to have missed the Hanukkah wrapping paper. Would you please show me where it is?
Sales Clerk: It might be in the back still. Which is kind of weird, because isn’t Hanukkah way before Christmas?
Me: Sometimes. Not this year though.
Sales Clerk: Oh. Let me ask someone. (Talks to another clerk.) Yeah, we don’t have any. All of our holiday stuff is out.
Me: You don’t have any Hanukkah stuff?
Sales Clerk: No. Sorry.
Me: Okay, thanks. May I speak to your manager?
Sales Clerk: Sure.
(Manager comes over and I explain to him I couldn’t find any Hanukkah stuff.)
Manager: Yeah, it was probably discontinued.
Me: What was discontinued?
Manager: Hanukkah.
Me: Hanukkah wasn’t discontinued.
Manager: Well, Hanukkah wrapping paper.
Me: Um, yeah, I don’t think Hanukkah wrapping paper was discontinued. I mean, it’s a holiday. [ed. note: What the hell?]
Manager: We didn’t get any then. All of our holiday stuff is out. Some of our stores get different merchandise though, so maybe it’s not a popular enough item at this store.
Me: You guys are on Fairfax.
Manager: (Blank stare.)
Me: There’s a ton of Jews around here. They need Hanukkah wrapping paper.
Manager: Yeah, sorry.
As funny as this conversation is, it’s also really sad. And frustrating. Come on, it’s 2005. It shouldn’t be so difficult to find Hanukkah wrapping paper at a huge drug store in Los Angeles. Give me a break.
Guess who should be expecting a letter from yours truly?