Some recent searches that landed people here:

• nice jewish butt
• look at my cleavage
• best place meet halfway between los angeles san francisco
• who has the most friends on myspace?
• things that are annoying
• 2005 email address of fish cutters in israel
• find prostitutes in los angeles
• car cleavage
• suck my toes blogger
• get a jewish 14 year old girlfriend when you are 14
• richard beauty and the geek plant
• what day of the week to ask for a saturday night date

As usual, to all the new people, how did you get here?

Brooke Shields responds to Tom Cruise’s asinine comments about depression and psychiatry. (link via Charlie)

- - -
Did you know there’s a new law in California effective today that states drivers must use their headlights when they turn on their windshield wipers in rain, fog or snow? And, by the way, it’s a $96 fine if you forget.
- - -
If you haven’t already done so, check out Superfluous Juxtaposition friend Pauly D’s newly redesigned Wordpress blog. (Wordpress–all the cool kids are using it.)
- - -
Who knew Wil-Dog from Ozomatli is Jewish? I had no clue.
- - -
Finally, I’m headed down to San Diego after work today to sit on the freeway with the rest of Los Angeles. Have a great weekend and enjoy the fireworks!

This weekend, I:

• Drove down to San Diego with my sister in near record time–one hour and forty minutes–on a Friday night. And back to LA today, also in record time.
• Had lunch with JAB and her boys, who are growing up way too fast.
• Saw Batman.* By the way, am I the only one who thinks the first 45 minutes totally lagged?
• Had sushi with my family.
• Had brunch in downtown Del Mar then hit Banana Republic with the family. I got pants (in beige), a t-shirt (in fuscia), and a silk/something cardigan/hoodie thing in pink.



• Shopped at UTC and got shoes (in mint and tan) and more shoes (in camel).
• Saw Marty Levine and family at the mall. [ed. note: unless you're from San Diego, this will most likely mean nothing to you.]
• Had dinner at Pat & Oscar’s.
• Watched Miss Congeniality 2.
• Sat by the pool.
• Bar-b-q-ed.
• Watched at least five sets of fireworks from my balcony. I know for sure one set was from the Hollywood Bowl. The others were near the Grove (?), near downtown, and east of me. Totally cool.

As always, it was a wonderful weekend. Thanks for all the goodies mom and dad!

*Either I missed a scene, or something doesn’t make sense. How come all of the people who inhaled the hallucinogenic didn’t die or continue hallucinating forever? If you remember, Rachel needed the stuff that Lucius created to negate the hallucinogenic. How come everyone else didn’t?

Him:

Hi! How are you? If you’d like to chat sometime feel free to email me at xxxx@aol.com or AIM xxxx. My jdate membership should cancel any second now. Hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
xxxx:)

Me (I sent the generic decline in response to his generic email):

[Hilary] has declined to respond to your email sent 6/29/2005 7:16:41 PM

Him:

why decline?…you’re fat!…lol

That my friends, is a perfect example of a Jdate email exchange.

Annabel Lee tagged me with this lifetime meme:

10 years ago: I was in college and dating The Ex.

5 years ago: I bought my Civic. I spent way too long at the stupid dealership and walked out twice before the salesman followed me to my car and begged me to stay.

1 year ago: I turned 30.

Yesterday: I worked, went grocery shopping, talked on the phone, watched TV, then went to bed.

Today: I’m at work. Tonight I’ll probably run some errands, read my book club book, then catch up on my TiVo.

Tomorrow: I’ll work. But, Thursdays are Century City Farmer’s Market days which means I will buy some kettle corn. (I know, major excitement.) Tomorrow night I’m going to a shindig.

5 snacks I enjoy: Pretzels. Chocolate (is that a snack?). Baked chips. Fuji apples. Candy.

5 bands that I know the lyrics of MOST of their songs: Depeche Mode. Oingo Boingo. Guster. Billy Joel. Don McLean.

5 things I would do with $100,000,000: Buy a house. Buy a new car. Share money with my parents and sister. Set up a college fund for my Little. Donate to charity.

5 locations I’d like to run away to: Paris. Hawaii. Vegas. San Diego. London.

5 bad habits I have: Crack my knuckles. Swallow my gum. Grind my teeth/clench my jaw. Stress over silly things. Correct people’s grammar when I shouldn’t.

5 things I like doing: Baking. Reading. Going to the theater. Sleeping late. Anything with my family and friends.

5 things I would never wear: Shoes with a heel higher than 3 inches–I’m tall enough as it is; and well, I’m a klutz. Anything that I wore in the 80s that is “back in fashion” today. Pigtails. Anything that requires double sided tape. A padded bra.

5 TV shows I like: Arrested Development. Curb Your Enthusiasm. Law & Order. The Amazing Race. Beauty and the Geek.

5 movies I like: Swingers. Grease. Breakfast Club. Kissing Jessica Stein. Pretty in Pink.

5 famous people I’d like to meet: Jennifer Weiner. Edith Wharton. Shawn Green. Matt Dillon. The inventor of duct tape (so that I could tell him my dad has found 1001 uses for the stuff).

5 biggest joys at the moment: Family. Friends. The gorgeous weather. Being a Big Sister and watching my Little learn from me. The fact that come August, I will no longer have car payments.

5 favorite toys: Laptop. Dell DJ. Digital camera. TiVo. KitchenAid mixer.

5 people to tag: Erin. Neil. Ari. Nanette. Keith.

Elise: So glad to know you’re allright. Keep us posted, okay?

TV: Beauty and the Geek–I’m torn about Chuck and Caitilin (so glad we learned to spell her name last night) winning. Part of me didn’t want Richard and Mindi to win mainly because Richard was so damn annoying, but really–is Chuck much better? And also, has Mindi had that nose ring all season? Because I just noticed it. Anyway, I can’t wait for next week’s reunion show!

On a related note, my friend sent me this article about dating geeks.

On an unrelated to Beauty and the Geek yet still related to TV note, is anyone else watching 30 Days? Great episode tonight. What about Strip Search?

Dating: There’s a slight possibility I may have a Jdate with a seemingly normal guy in the next couple of weeks. Don’t worry, you’ll be the first to know.

Sites of the Week: Tom Cruise Is Nuts and Slave To Target

That’s all I got. Short Thursday Things for a short week. Or something like that.

Some recent searches that landed people here:

• what you should know about expat life in Switzerland
• how to be a cool new person on myspace
• haircut feel mother s
• jewish prostitutes in los angeles
• my car started shaking
• what s up with kristen dunst
• called my friend from silverlake
• the best website to ask a question about waterworld?
• “big fun” wearing t shirt
• what i saw memorial day week end
• kiss on the cheek after 3rd date
• beauty and the geek most popular fish

As usual, to all the new people, how did you get here?

As you can see, I’ve made a few changes to the blog and finally gotten rid of that green theme thing. I’m still experimenting with the new colors, so please let me know if you find them too light, too dark, too hard to read, etc. Everything looks okay in IE and Firefox on my PC. I’d love to know how it looks on a MAC. Thanks!

I had the most delicious Korean food at the Hollywood Farmer’s Market on Sunday. I am a fan.

I watched both The Princes of Malibu (which Pauly is a Supervising Producer on) and The Surreal Life last night. And yes, they’ll both remain on my TiVo. JAB, are you watching them?

I spoke to the Jdate guy on the phone last night. He seems super cool and normal. He suggested Largo for next week’s date and even mentioned something about buying tickets and making reservations. Unlike some people we know.

This morning I left the house with mascara on only one eye, as I apparently was still half asleep while getting ready. I then had to go back into the garage, back upstairs, and apply mascara to the other eye. Yeah, it’s Monday alright.

Over the weekend, I went to clean bird crap off my windshield when I realized there was no windshield wiper solution coming out. So then I had smeared bird crap all over the windshield. These two sentences are for some reason making me think of the Depeche Mode song, “Fly On The Windscreen,” which I haven’t heard in years and years and really doesn’t have much to do with bird crap.

And finally, after spending way too much time creating the possible header banners for my blog, I realized that I will need to redo whichever one I choose because I’m turning 31 a week from Sunday. And yes, birthday presents are more than welcome.

Last week, Elise mentioned she read a book my friend JAB recommened here on my blog and said she thought it’d be cool to have a superjux bookclub. I ran with that idea and thought once a month I’d post and ask my readers to make recommendations of books they recently enjoyed. So, who wants to begin?

Once again, my Jdate subscription has come to an end, so now I’ll have only IMs to share.

Him: How is your day?
Me: Good, thanks.
Him: That’s good.

30 seconds later

Him: How is your day?
Me: Good, thanks. Haven’t we already been through this?
Him: (sic) Your right. Sorry about that. So what’s going on?

Ugh.

Some recent searches that landed people here:

• how to make makeshift diaper
• kiss on the cheek after 3rd date
• you know you are on a bad date when
• jewish butt
• sour cream commercial lyrics
• dont accept date if call on wednesday
• my date with drew
• splat the coworker games
• kosher ass
• old woman suck girls toes
• does everyone have a beshert
• subway schmutz
• nutrisystem does it work?

As usual, to all the new people, how did you get here?

Dating: Monday is my date with Jdate Guy Who Actually Made Plans In Advance. Think good thoughts–hopefully it will be a good way to start off my birthday week.

And speaking of birthdays, I think the American Idiot CD by Green Day would make a lovely birthday present. And what do you know…it’s even on sale at Amazon.

Question: What exactly is Blogshares? People keep getting to my blog from it, but after looking at the site, I still have no clue what it is. And when I try to “claim” my blog, it says it doesn’t exist. What does that mean?

Movies: Tuesday I’m going to a screening of Just Like Heaven. And, I am dying to see Wedding Crashers–who is going to see it with me this weekend?

Beauty and the Geek Reunion Special: It kinda sucked. And Brad is kinda cute.

Site of the Week: I don’t have one. Suggest away.

Yeah, I know. A totally lame Thursday Things. Sue me.

(9:10 p.m., phone rings)

My Dad: Hi Hil, it’s dad.
Me: Hi dad.
My Dad: We’re watching Hook Ups [ed. note: It's actually called Hooking Up. I think my dad's been watching too much Next.] and we wanted to make sure you were watching it. It’s really funny.
Me: Yeah, I’m TiVo’ing it. I’ll watch it in a few minutes.
My Dad: Okay, bye.

(10 minutes later, phone rings)

My Mom: Hi Hil, it’s mom.
Me: Hi mom.
My Mom: This show is your life! It’s so funny! We are laughing so hard.
Me: Laughing?
My Mom: Not at you of course. With you! It’s hysterical! Now I understand what you go through.

They’re right–It is so my life.

Did anyone else watch it? What did you think?

Some recent questions that landed people here:

• feelies reforming?
• how did beauty and the geek end?
• how old must you be to date someone whose 22?
• can i transfer my blogger files to wordpress?
• corey haim jewish?
• hilary joel how did they meet?
• how do I know if my car battery is dead?

Do you have an answer for these lost souls?

This weekend, I:

• Experimented with a foaming self tanner. I now have streaked tan legs. Not sure which is more attractive–my blinding white skin prior to the experiment or my post experiment smelly streaked skin.
• Watched a big rig high speed chase on TV then fell asleep with the TV on, something I haven’t done in years.
• Slept in until 10:15.
• Went to Target with the rest of Hollywood. However, unlike the rest of Hollywood, I used the super secret entrance and exit off of Formosa. How come no ever enters there?
• Saw Wedding Crashers. And loved it.
• Put windshield wiper fluid in my car. All by myself. [ed. note: Shut up. It's a big deal to me.]
• Weighed-in. I’m now down 7.8 pounds. Yay me!
• Saw the Next bus on Sunset near the DGA.
• Caught up on most of my Tivo’d shows.
• Did not talk to Jdate Guy Who Actually Made Plans In Advance to figure out what time we’re meeting tomorrow. Uh oh.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Just got home from my date with Jdate Guy Who Actually Made Plans In Advance. Fun venue (Largo). Jimmy Kimmel made an appearance. Some comics were okay. Some comics sucked. No comics I’ve previously dated. Oh yeah, my date. Well, he was uhh, nice. Shorter than his profile said. Less hair than his picture. No interest on my part (and not because of his height or hair). It’s just not in the cards for us. [ed. note: Okay mom?]

But at least I don’t have a Top Ten list this time. Sigh. Is this ever going to end?

And in related to dating news, soon-to-be-an-Angelino-David highly recommends Three Kinds of Asking for It: Erotic Novellas. I’m sure in some way, this book relates to dating and what do you know–it happens to be on my Amazon Wishlist. Did I mention I’m turning 31 on Sunday? [ed. note: Shameless birthday gift plug, I know.]

It’s that time again. Have a question for my Jewish mother? Or dad? Or sister? Post your questions in the comments.

Did you miss out on the previous questions and answers? Then catch up on installments one, two, three, four, five, and six.

I just got back from a screening of Just Like Heaven courtesy of my awesome friend Julie. Not only did she take me to the screening, she gave me the Wedding Crashers soundtrack (complete with a track by Guster). How cool is she?! Anyway, I thought the movie was cute with a high cheese factor; Julie and her assistant both liked it a lot more. Doesn’t matter how good it was/wasn’t, because I can’t complain about looking at Mark Ruffalo for two hours.

Interesting Note #1: During the opening credits there is a cover of The Cure’s Just Like Heaven performed by a female artist. (Yes, the lyrics were changed around to accommodate the gender difference.) Anyone know who sings it? I couldn’t find the info anywhere. The closing credits had the original The Cure version of the song.

Interesting Note #2: I ran into my sister’s ex-boyfriend about three times before the movie started. And yes Bethany, he gained weight.

Thanks for the movie and the soundtrack Julie. You rock!

Some recent searches that landed people here:

• how myspace are you
• a girl who wore diapers
• kristen dunst getting mail
• candy food wrappers 70s 80s
• rent a geek farmington hills michigan
• what is tom cruise current home address
• jewish men in bed
• when does guster appear in the wedding crashers
• myspace meets amazon wish list
• you got here
• i hate miss kirk
• walk/don t walk sign invented
• you know you are on a bad date when
• los angeles pink car booty
• exercises receding jaw

Who wants to use at least six of those search phrases in a paragraph? And if you’re new to my blog, how’d you get here?

Yuck: It’s HOT and HUMID here in LA. What the hell?

Happy: Today I’m wearing a pair of pants I couldn’t fit into 7 pounds ago.

Tonight: I’m going to Mortified. Again.

Tomorrow: I’m driving down to SD to swap cars with my parents so I can have the SUV for my little road trip up to Cambria/Hearst Castle next week. And speaking of next week, if I were in town, there’s a good chance I’d be checking out Keith’s friend’s new mashup night, Bootie LA.

31: My great-aunt in Michigan sent me about 10 pounds of chocolate chip mandelbrot for my birthday. I don’t even want to know how many points those are.

Ask: It’s not too late to ask my mom/dad/sister/me a question!

What the Hell: My rent check still has not cleared. It’s now the 21st of the month. What gives?

Site of the Week: Rent Blog

Why today has sucked, thus far:

• I am exhausted because I’ve gone out every night this week and haven’t slept more than 6 hours a night.
• I stabbed myself in the eye with a mascara wand.
• I forgot to put earrings in and was running late so I didn’t have time to go back upstairs.
• I got my heel stuck in a groove in the concrete while walking from the parking garage to my office and now the leather in my shoe is stretched out.
• I was spoken to about my Internet usage at work. Apparently we’re all using up too much bandwith.

And it’s not even noon.

Thursday night: Went to the Mortified show.

Friday: Drove down to SD in the evening to swap my Honda Civic for my parents’ BMW X3 for a couple of weeks. I totally got the better end of the deal.

Saturday: Drove back to LA in the morning. Cleaned up the mess the handyman made in my apartment while replacing my faucets. Celebrated my friend’s 30th and my 31st with a bunch of people over Italian food and wine.

Sunday: Weighed-in (I gained .4, which isn’t bad considering I ate and drank a ton the night before). Had lunch with a friend. Went shopping with a friend. Saw Topher Grace walking in front of Bristol Farms at Fairfax and Sunset. Next up is dinner with my sister then collapsing into bed.

This week in weird searches:

• fully explain annabel lee
• met him on myspace
• jewish girls assholes
• dating to call or not to call
• you know its 2005 when..
• hilary is an annoying jew from san diego

[ed. note: fuck you, no I'm not]

• saddle castration party
• what should i do on thursday
• definition of guilty
• merry christmas jewish girl fairfax avenue
• call straight to voicemail
• “puppetry of the penis” “my sister”
• “Hot hebrew”
• blog list aaa slaves
• secret jdate

Write a story. I dare ya. And if you’re new, how’d you get?

Amazing But True Fact: I joined a gym. And for cheap–$34/month/all club, no fees.

Only In LA Moment: On the way to the gym, I noticed a sign that read 24 Hour Fitness Closed Monday-Wednesday. I also noticed a bunch of Starwagons on Vine. Yep, you guessed it–they were filming a commercial (for the Olympics) inside the gym. Fortunately, they still let me in to join.

Average Joe: No way. I’m shocked.

Search of the Week: 42 ways to get a man on jdate

Commercial: Has anyone else seen that super annoying backpack commercial with the I Like Big Butts Backpacks song? It’s been stuck in my head for the past three days.

Weekend: I’m going to Cambria and Hearst Castle. Yay. Relaxation.

Change: Career wise, it’s time for me to switch it up a little. I’d like to get into a more creative field, and hopefully continue to write. Can you help me out?

Question: Are there any beaches in LA with (legal) firepits for bonfires?

Site of the Week: A Socialite’s Life

Because:

• I feel like everyone in the world (except me) is getting engaged/married/pregnant.
• I’m terrified that by the time I get married I won’t be able to have children.
• Only idiots and men old enough to be my father have been emailing me on Jdate.
• Only married guys/comics hit on me in person.
• I ate and drank way too much tonight at happy hour with former coworkers.
• I’ve asked myself What do I want to be when I grow up? way too many times for someone who just turned 31.
• I work in a cubicle and dress up everyday even though I don’t see anyone except coworkers.
• I know, for my own sanity, that I can’t work like that anymore but I have no idea what I want to be doing.
• I swear to god I’m going to smack the next person who asks me why I’m single. I don’t care how old he/she is. What the fuck kind of question is that?

Pity party will be over soon. Regular blogging to resume (pending Internet usage logs at work of course) after a much needed weekend road trip.

First, I want to say thank you to everyone for your super kind comments, they are much appreciated and will be taken to heart. You guys are incredible.

And now…my roadtrip–The Return to Hearst Castle. (You may remember we went last year for the first tour.)

Our drive up to Central California was pretty uneventful (thankfully). We got to the hotel around 3:00 and checked in, changed clothes, and headed out to walk around and have dinner in Cambria. I bought a couple of fun things–something for my sister and something for my parents and had the best caramel and chocolate covered homemade marshmallow. Ever.

Once again, we asked the locals for dinner suggestions and yet again, they didn’t disappoint. We had dinner and wine at a restaurant called The Hamlet. The food was delicious (shrimp scampi for me, pasta for my friend), and the ocean view was amazing (see the pic to the left). For dessert, we stuck with what we knew–Linn’s–and this time tried the apple pie. It was delish.

Sunday morning we went for a quick breakfast across the street from our hotel then headed over to Hearst Castle for tour number two. The fog lifted, and the weather was absolutely gorgeous.

The second tour was great and consisted of the outdoor and indoor pools, some of the (24!) bedrooms, bathrooms, and the kitchen. The place is absolutely beautiful and the pictures don’t do it justice. (You aren’t allowed to use flash and can only step in certain parts of the rooms.)

As expected, the trip was wonderful and it was great to get away from LA, even if only for a weekend. Cambria and Hearst Castle are both beautiful, and I hope to return for tour number three next summer with a boyfriend, rather than a friend. Hey, that gives me one year to find one.

I’ll post more pictures on Flickr later.