If you are really old fashion and play by the rules you are not suppose to accept a date for Sat night after wednesday. I think that is lame, probable because I live in a city where no one dates….just hangs out. Which means they call you fifteen minutes prior and ask you what you are doing. If it is an actual date I say the day before is fine if you like the guy. I personally can’t take the anxiety that comes with the time between the planning and the date, so the least amount of time the better.

“…uh, hi Hilary, how ya’ doin’? I know it’s Saturday night at seven o’clock, but my first date got sick and the second woman I called up has her parents in town, so I figured if you’re not doing anything tonight and you don’t mind going dutch… and picking me up because my car is broken…”

Date? What’s… a date? Some kind of 1950’s ritual?

I agree with your answer, Hil.

I see what your dating issue is. You just need some arbitrary and capricious rules. Tuesday for a Friday night date and Wednesday for a Saturday night date are good starts. But be sure and make new rules at random, as guys like to be confused - it keeps us on our toes. Also, being randomly busy and refusing dates is a plus. We don’t like it when you’re too available, it makes us think you’re desperate.

I agree with Hilary. A date’s a lot better than no plans!

I’m not sure I totally agree with Hilary and Adam, at least for someone searching for a real relationship. At heart, guys don’t want it too easy. There’s nothing wrong with going on a date at the last minute, as some have said… but only the first time.

If he tried to do the same on the second date, I would definitely say I had other plans (even if I had none). You want to show him who’s boss… and you want to send him the message that you want to be treated like a woman. If you don’t train him early, you’re going to end up with a husband that buys you a toaster oven for Valentine’s Day. Maybe on the third date, you can go out on the last minute again, but not the fourth. Like Smoove implied, nothing turns a guy on more than being totally confused by a capricious woman.

Of course, if you’re in you’re early twenties, where dating is more casual, then anything goes.

(I just read what I wrote and realized that if I were a woman, I would never go out with myself)

Caveat…I’ve been married for years, and thus not necessarily tuned in to the latest. However, I would think that the answer to the question depends upon the closeness between you and the person in question. If you’ve never met, a Friday night call at 10:00 pm for a Friday night date is probably not acceptable.

Hilary — You are too cool! Thanks for opening this up to your readers.

And to your readers — I appreciate the input. Excellent feedback, which I will take under consideration.

I’m with sarah… as they say on the OC, isn’t it more of a ‘group hang’ these days?

Hilary–I really like your answer. Although, personally, I’m a planner out of necessity (crazy busy schedule) so the last minute deal never flies with me (”whatcha doin’ right now? come over!”).

It all depends on the people involved. I’m the kind of guy that likes to have plans made in advance, but I know others that can’t stand doing that and only make plans, including dates, at the last second. Different folks, different strokes. I suppose part of finding that right match is dating someone who’s on the same page as you when it comes to these things.

Yes, I agree. Last minute = not cool. That’s why you go ahead and make plans with other people. Because then, he finally figures out that he can’t call you the day before/of and he needs to book you in advance to see you.

Sorry I’m a little late in commenting here folks, but…

My opinion is that rules suck. Do what your heart tells you. If a guy calls you 4 days in advance and you don’t want to go out with him you won’t, right? So then if he calls you up even 15 minutes in advance and you are free and want to go out with him, then why not do it? Of course, he’s taking a big risk in asking at that point, so if your heart tells you no it is his loss. But if you want to go, go!

I just hate the way people calculate when they can call or not call or go out or not go out, etc, until they have everything down to a 15 minute window of opportunity. But as usual, that’s just MY $.02