This Pretty Much Sums It Up

Why my head hurts:

Hey Hilary,

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking over the past several hrs (since yesterday late afternoon actually) and I think it’s best that we not meet. There seems to have been some awkwardness w/ some of our more recent chats and I just feel that a match is not in the cards. I do apologize for the late notice, but again, I wanted to think this through before coming to this decision. It was a pleasure to meet you and I do wish you the best moving forward.

Best Regards,
Upcoming Jdate Guy

Seems he was trying to make it so I wouldn’t want to meet him. Perhaps being separated (read: not yet divorced) for only five months is making him question whether or not he’s ready to date. Or maybe he just didn’t feel my vibe. Yes, I’m disappointed and sad.

15 Comments »

Bethany (Hil's sister)

May 4th, 2005 | 9:45 am


Good you deserve someone who is ready to date. Keep looking put yourself back in JDATE.

Hilary

May 4th, 2005 | 9:51 am


He very well could be ready to date. Just not wanting to date me. Who knows.

Fun Joel

May 4th, 2005 | 10:05 am


Aww, sorry to hear it Hil. That sucks. But clearly it wasn’t right. Luckily you have a lot of upcoming other options, with the set-ups, etc. Good luck!

Bethany (Hil's sister)

May 4th, 2005 | 10:28 am


Well it’s better than wasting time on a few dates and then him telling you that!! Think of it as saving time..and cute date clothes.

Keith

May 4th, 2005 | 11:18 am


Sounds like you could use a drink after all this… you should wander over to my building’s happy hour after work tonight.

mom

May 4th, 2005 | 11:49 am


Hil:
Never go out with a guy who isn’t really ready. It sounds as if he isn’t sure he should be going out!! Lots of BS out there. I guess 5 months of separation is not enuf!!
Sorry, honey…

I love you,

MOM

Hilary

May 4th, 2005 | 12:09 pm


Keith, that sounds fun but I already have dinner plans after work. How often do you guys get together? And where do you go?

Michael

May 4th, 2005 | 1:33 pm


So many internet daters, I’ve discovered, aren’t really “ready” for it. Perhaps they just put up a profile, spent a few minutes writing others and responding, but when it comes down to meeting and dating… when it becomes “real”, they’re simply, well, not ready.

Eve

May 4th, 2005 | 4:56 pm


Definitely don’t take it personally. He didn’t reject you-he doesn’t even know you. Frankly, none of these men even really “exist” until you have met them in person (but that’s my opinion). I am sure it is something going on with him, NOT YOU. I’ve written an email like that before (yeah I know it sucks) because I realized that I wasn’t ready to date when it came time to actually “make plans” (just out of a long relationship, etc). So, please, do not take it personally and get discouraged. It probably has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Smoove D

May 4th, 2005 | 7:23 pm


Internet dating has too much internet and not enough dating, I’ve found.

JAB

May 4th, 2005 | 8:50 pm


I’m sorry to read that it didn’t work out…but there is no rational way you can take it personally. I think you should keep your profile off of JDate and try to find other ways to meet single men (how? I have no idea). What about at work? Any single guys at work? Maybe just start hanging out at different coffee shops after work with a book and see who you meet? Are my ideas totally off–can you tell I haven’t dated in 7 years?!

annabel lee

May 4th, 2005 | 11:26 pm


So sorry to hear it, Hilary. Maybe SetUp Guy is still free for tomorrow for the comedy thing? Hang in there…

hilary

May 5th, 2005 | 8:12 am


is it too late to go out with set-up guy tonight? or would that be a faux pas?

Ontario Emperor

May 5th, 2005 | 12:45 pm


It’s surprising that he didn’t think that awkwardness could be overcome by a personal meeting. Hope things work out in the future.

-OE

elise

May 6th, 2005 | 7:57 am


Do you go to synagogue? Maybe you should get active in that kind of thing, or JCC classes…something like that?

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