Yes, I am alive. I just haven’t had time to post in the past couple of days. Random stuff, in no particular order:

I am super excited for my Jdate on Thursday night so please think good thoughts for me. This guy seems really cool and nice and smart and cute and everything.

Set-Up Guy asked me to go to this comedy performance thingy that sounds really fun on Thursday night. Of course, it happens to be the night of my date with Jdate Guy I Am Super Excited About, so hopefully Set-Up Guy and I will figure out a new day that works.

In non-dating news, JAB is going to a screening of Star Wars tonight, so if you want to know how the movie is, leave a comment for her. I told her she must stop by Diddy Riese after the movie, so expect a full report tomorrow, at least on the ice cream sandwiches.

And in more unrelated news, I’m very happy I take surface streets to work everyday because people keep getting shot on the freeways up here. What the hell is going on?

Finally, I’m very sad to report that as of 8:40 this morning, my dry cleaners is unable to locate my black coat. The coat I was planning to wear for the next few days due to the forecasted rain. I’m hoping it somehow shows up.

Shortly after I wrote my earlier post, I got cranky.

It started when I got super swamped at work. Then, Upcoming Jdate Guy started bugging me via IM by saying stupid things, which left me wondering if he’s trying to make me not want to meet him or something. It’s weird. I took my profile off Jdate again as I just can’t deal with Jdate people right now, they all frustrate me.

As if I wasn’t annoyed enough, while IMing with Upcoming Jdate Guy, I noticed I had a hole in my pants. In the butt. So yes, for three hours I was apparently flashing everyone my ass. Fortunately, as previously discussed, I went to the dry cleaners this morning so I had an extra pair of pants in my car to change into. And they found my coat.

Why my head hurts:

Hey Hilary,

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking over the past several hrs (since yesterday late afternoon actually) and I think it’s best that we not meet. There seems to have been some awkwardness w/ some of our more recent chats and I just feel that a match is not in the cards. I do apologize for the late notice, but again, I wanted to think this through before coming to this decision. It was a pleasure to meet you and I do wish you the best moving forward.

Best Regards,
Upcoming Jdate Guy

Seems he was trying to make it so I wouldn’t want to meet him. Perhaps being separated (read: not yet divorced) for only five months is making him question whether or not he’s ready to date. Or maybe he just didn’t feel my vibe. Yes, I’m disappointed and sad.

Kinda still in a mood, so not much to report.

Food: Last night, Marissa and I had dinner at Luna Park. One word: yum. Total comfort food–I had the baked macaroni and cheese and broccoli. Soooo good. For dessert we shared the “Make Your Own S’more” which I know is going to make me bust out my own Smore’s Maker sometime soon. I can’t wait to go back and try some more dishes.

In related news, JAB did go to Diddy Riese where she enjoyed two white chocolate chip cookies with chocolate chip ice cream which she described as “heavenly.” And oh yeah, she said the new Star Wars movie was great.

TAR: Not surprised that the oldies lost, but Rob and Amber are still annoying me. Who do you think is gonna win?

Dating: As you know from yesterday’s post, Upcoming Jdate Guy proved to be an idiot, so I’m not meeting him tonight. I’m very disappointed, because I really did think he was a good guy and was looking forward to meeting him in person. And I admit I’m a little hurt that he doesn’t want to meet me. Nothing like being dissed by someone you’ve never even met.

In other dating news, Set-Up Guy invited me out this weekend, but my parents will be in town to celebrate Mother’s Day. I’m not sure what the schedule looks like, but maybe I’ll get a chance to see him Saturday night.

And in more dating news, I decided to leave my Jdate profile up at least until my month-long subscription is over, so that spending almost half of my tomato money on Jdate wouldn’t seem like a total waste. (Although it probably will prove to be.)

Site of the Week: PostSecret (c/o Meg).

It’s been a while, so here are some fun searches that landed people here:

• perpetually single
• catholic girl & a jewish guy
• the amazing race jew
• blogs swinging couples los angeles
• got another girl pregnant
• i hate jewish guys
• how to get magic to call girls
• surreal life suck my toe
• jewish swingers
• ryan seacrest little girl incident
• updated converting line for baby diapers
• why does hilary fuck around with my joel?

As usual, to all the new people, how did you get here?

Lately I’ve been finding myself saying If I have kids… rather than When I have kids… That makes me sad. And scared. And right now, it’s my biggest fear. What if, by the time I meet my beshert, I’m too old or unable to have children? I can’t imagine never having children.

What’s your biggest fear?

I picked my mom up at the train station Friday night then proceeded to get lost in downtown because the stupid freeway entrance was closed. Annoying.

Saturday morning my mom and sister did the Revlon Run/Walk then went for manicures/pedicures while I was out getting another couple inches chopped off my hair. Baby steps. It’ll be short(er) before I know it. While us girls were being pampered, my dad drove up to LA with the dog. We all then met up and went for dinner at Cheebo. In case you wondering, I had the gnocchi and yes, it was delish.

Following dinner, we went back to the hotel, then walked over to Jerry’s deli to pickup dessert. While my parents and I were inside, my sister managed to use the dog to get two cute guys to chat her up on their way to Guy’s. I joined them outside, and we all talked some more. Apparently both of us are lacking in sufficient flirting skills, as no phone numbers were exchanged. We had dessert (ohmygod, Snickers cake–yum) upstairs and then my sister and I each headed back to our respective apartments.

Sunday morning, we went out to my sister’s neck of the woods, Santa Monica, and spent forever and a half trying to find a restaurant for brunch that would allow dogs on the patio. Santa Monica appears to have strict ordinances not allowing that, FYI. We finally found a place to eat and as usual, stuffed ourselves silly. After lunch we drove out to Malibu and walked around the beach. The weather was absolutely perfect and the sky was a perfectly clear blue, as you can see in the picture.

It was a wonderful weekend and I’m happy my parents came up so we could all spend it together. Happy Mother’s Day mom, I love you!

Set-Up #2: So not gonna happen. For many reasons, including, but not limited to, his possession of a written will for his dog. Well, the will is actually for him, but it dictates who would get the dog should something happen to him.* Because we all have wills for our dogs. And oh yeah, he’s dating someone. Apparently she hasn’t found out about the will yet.

Set-Up Guy (The original): we’re still working on scheduling date number two. It’s gonna happen.

Separated Guy #2: Saturday I received a Jdate email from a guy with the same first name as Upcoming Jdate Guy and who is also separated. Strange coincidence, don’t ya think? This one is sans child. We spoke on the phone last night and set up a date for Sunday evening.

Chocolate Festival: My friend and I are planning on going to the Ghiradelli Chocolate Festival this September. She lives in Seattle so we’re going to meet up in San Francisco and are hoping to avoid renting a car. Does anyone have any recommendations on where to stay and how to get around? p.s. How far in advance should we book our room?

Hearst Castle: And in more weekend trip news, my friend and I are returning to Hearst Castle in July for the second tour. You may remember we did the first tour last year and had a great time. We’re definitely on the lookout for inexpensive hotels and restaurants in Cambria, so if you have any recommendations, please let me know.

Random: The LA Times Calendar section is free once again. Finally.

*It is because of reasons like this that my parents are not allowed to give my phone number/email address/any information to a guy they have not met. Well, because of this and because of what happened the last time they gave out my number.

An excerpt from an LA Times article about dating:

Remember your surroundings as you remain open to life’s possibilities. Strip clubs, prison parking lots and check-cashing stores may not be the best places to find your soul mate.

Ari, did you read that? Prison = bad!

Uchenna and Joyce win (Rob and Ambah lose) The Amazing Race. Hah.

Mazel Tov: To my sister for getting a new job. She’ll be working on one of my latest addictions, Next, on MTV.

Wow: I somehow came across this guy’s website. He’s a comic and a lawyer. Now, if the next comic I meet is a comic/lawyer like him, I’d be all set.

Separated Guy #2: First off, he needs a new name. Separated Guy just sounds so…wrong. Maybe just call him SG? Anyway, dare I say we’re still on for Sunday night? Dinner. My neighborhood. Short choppy sentences as to not jinx.

Set-Up Guy: No news on date number two as of yet.

Diet Coke: Has anyone tried the new Diet Coke with Splenda?

Huh: Did you hear about the guy who won $56 million last Saturday in the California Lotto? Apparently, he called the Lotto people and informed them he wouldn’t be able to claim his prize until Thursday because he was too busy working double shifts and didn’t have time to go. Uhhh.

Your Help: Anyone have a shoe repair place in the Hollywood/West Hollywood area that they like? I thought I had a good one, but was told I was ripped off the last time I went to get a heel fixed.

The Amazing Race: Your conspiracy theories explained.

Site of the Week: Go learn some new words over at Words For My Enjoyment and tell Pauly I say hi.

Last night I finally had the opportunity to meet David as he was in town speaking at a local book club meeting*, which he invited me to. [Ed. Note: David's the one who introduced me to Set Up Guy.] Anyway, David and his fiancee were very cool, the book club was great, and the members were a hoot. For example:

The hostess’s husband was getting over a cold, so another member said to him: You should put some warm saltwater up your nose.

I don’t know why, but I found that absolutely hysterical. Maybe it’s just me. Or maybe you had to be there. Or maybe I could just totally picture my mom saying the same exact thing.

*Average age of the members = 50-something.

For those of you following along at home, tonight’s Jdate with Separated Guy #2 has been rescheduled. He’s sick. We’re going out Thursday night instead.

Since I know you’re all disappointed that I have no juicy date details to share, here’s a picture of the chocolate chip cookies I made today. It’s a new recipe and I’m not too thrilled with it. The cookies look really nice, but the taste is just sorta eh.

Some recent random searches that landed people here:

• dr. 90210 pornstar
• everyone loves a jewish girl
• jewish guys suck los angeles
• gay jewish guy naked
• nude jewish girl
• jewish men short smart
• boys with broken noses
• a guy cancelled our date
• tourists shot in los angeles by gang
• she ll make some jewish guy very happy one day
• bikram yoga and hell
• how to marry a jewish guy
• how can i get a jewish girl to be my girlfriend when your 14 years old
• meaning behind hey jealousy by gin blossoms

As usual, to all the new people–how did you get here?

1. Change the polling place from the location it’s been for several years.
2. Have an incomplete address display on the map from the lavote.net website.
3. Figure out exactly where new polling place is, only to discover it is a retirement home with no parking lot.
4. And on a one way street.
5. With parking only allowed on one side of the street.
6. Which is all parked up by the residents of said street.
7. Finally find a parking spot.
8. Find correct table.
9. Get handed a marker (swear to God) and fill in a circle on ballot. Question whether or not this system of voting seems slightly backwards compared to our modern Ink-A-Vote system.
10. Am informed I am the second person to vote. And with the parking situation as it is, I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m the last.

Way to go City of LA!

Same premise. More people. You may now ask a question to my mom, dad, or sister. Ask away!

Did you miss out on the previous questions and answers? Then catch up on installments one, two, three, four, and five.

Traffic sucked tonight. After finally getting home, I opened my doorwall* to let the beautiful 70 degree air into my stuffy apartment and all I could hear were helicopters, people screaming, and a band playing. What the hell? When did Hollywood Blvd. become a concert venue? And why?

On a side note, I guess the people waiting in line to not see Star Wars at Grauman’s had really good seats for the Audioslave concert.

*Also known as a sliding glass door.

Things That Suck: Britney’s new reality show and migraine headaches. I got one the day after I watched the show. Coincidence? I think not.

Set-Up Guy: Asked me out for nights I already had plans. Is going out of town for a week. Date number two will be sometime in 2006.

Separated Guy: We’re going for dinner tonight. Think good thoughts.

Cambria: Still looking for motel/restaurant suggestions. Anyone?

Ask Hil’s Family: See yesterday’s post for more info.

Site of the Week: Jossip

In case my first and second sets weren’t enough, here’s 10 more hints (care of Separated Guy) it’s a bad date:

1. He shows up 25 minutes early. I’m sorry, that’s not allowed.
2. He looks nothing like his year-and-a-half-old picture.
3. He says, “Instead of flowers, I got you this.” This being a t-shirt with the logo of the studio he’s working on a film for.
4. He then tells you he gets a discount at the studio store.
5. He talks endlessly about his director boss and the super secret film he’s working on.
6. He doesn’t open any doors for you.
7. He orders an entree then declares it too messy to eat so he says he’ll take it home to eat later.
8. He asks what you want for dessert, then orders what he is craving.
9. You tell him you want to stop in Barnes & Noble to pick up the Avenue Q soundtrack for a friend. He asks what Avenue Q is. You explain it’s a show with puppets and it won a Tony. He still has no clue.
10. In a whiny East Coast accent, he calls you Hil all night. Hi, you don’t know me. My name is Hilary.

Three sentence recap for my mom: No, I’m not too picky. Yes, he’ll probably call. No, I won’t go out with him again.

At least I’m not alone. Check out 10 Dates.

Last night, less than two hours after getting home from my date, I received a very flattering email from Separated Guy saying he had a great time, thought I was very pretty, and would like to see me again although he would understand if I didn’t feel the same way. [Ed. Note: Yeah, that last part was kinda weird.] At the end of the email, there was a short post script:

P.S. I was attracted to you and wanted to give you a real kiss* good night, but wasn’t sure how you would react. Hope it isn’t too weird that I’m admitting this, but what the heck, you only live once…. :0)

Yes, I responded with a very polite I-had-a-lovely-time-but… email. I am fully aware I’m going to Hell.

*He gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Some recent random searches that landed people here:

• call swingers met when should phone
• walk/don t walk in los angeles invented
• los angeles woman ugly scare death
• fuck my wife in los angeles
• how to fuck our dog
• best dating places first dates los angeles
• why is los angeles called the city of angels ?
• lesbians on mtv dating show next
• great sound unthinkable thoughts
• peter ueberroth is jewish
• i hate jewish girls
• los angeles pickup bars for people over 40
• hearst castle conspiracy

As usual, to all the new people–how did you get here?

So I started to walk/jog again on Saturday and ohmygod are my legs sore. I usually do about 2.5 miles in my neighborhood and most of the time I’m pretty much left alone. However, on Sunday alone, I was told a) get a tan [ed. note: check, used the self tanner] and b) nice ass. Gotta love living in Hollywood.

In other news, I’m having issues with my Little’s mom again and it’s frustrating. Very frustrating. Remind me again that I can’t quit.

In totally unrelated news, has anyone ever tried Ouidad hair products? If so, what did you think of it? And which products did you try?

Also, check out my mom’s response to my post about my date with Separated Guy. (Her response is in the comments.) Discuss amongst yourselves.

I think someone’s in my brain tonight, as I couldn’t have said this better myself. I’m with ya Ari.

Film: It’s time for the LA Film Festival again. I volunteered there a couple of years ago and had a great time. And of course, there are many talented filmmakers to see.

Stage: Next week, I’m going to see Mortified. [ed. note: Drew and Jerry--you guys going too?] If you’ve never been, definitely check it out. Tons o’ fun.

Dating: No news. Which at this point is preferable to the news of late.

Dating Related News: Remember Separated Guy #1? Well, turns out he apparently chatted briefly on Jdate with someone I know. They never met either. Small freakin’ world.

Question(s): My parents offered to pay for me to do It’s Just Lunch. Should I? Have you or anyone you know ever done it? If so, what were your/their experiences?

Huh: Can someone tell me what BlogClicker is? How does it work?

Site of the Week: My Life Is God’s Comic Strip

Every now and then, I receive press releases from various companies, usually Jewish and/or singles related organizations or groups. This one is from the Jewish Journal of Los Angeles, and since I am a regular reader of said publication, I thought it warranted a post. So here ya go:

Check out www.jewishjournal.com to enter a give away for a FREE APPLE IPOD during the month of June! Visit www.jewishjournal.com for award-winning news and feature writing, provocative opinion, arts and entertainment coverage, singles listings a complete calendar and the new Jewish LA Guide which will be your one stop shop for all things Jewish.

Go. Now. Do it.

My sister is casting for Next on MTV. They’re looking for good looking singles in southern California between 18 and 24, straight, gay, or bi. If you’re interested in auditioning for the show, email me and I’ll forward it on to her. Be sure to include your name, age, occupation, a little blurb about yourself, and a current picture.

Too bad she’s not working on a show looking for nice Jewish guys in their 30s. Now, that would be a hit.

Friday night, Marissa and I saw Crash at the Arclight then walked over to Hungry Cat for drinks. While there, we chatted with one of the bartenders who gave us a short history of the kumquat. We each tasted one–I had no idea you eat the peel, which is super sweet compared to the tart inside. Yum.

Much of Saturday afternoon was spent on Southern California’s lovely freeways as I headed down to Del Mar to hang with my family for the long weekend. Saturday night I went to sushi with my parents then we watched The Woodsmen. Creepy movie.

Sunday we had brunch in Del Mar then took the dog to the beach. Later in the day, my sister joined us and we all went out for dinner then came back home and hung out. I know, my weekends with my family are total ragers.

Monday the June Gloom seemed to disappear so we spent the day in the backyard swimming and sunning then had a delicious bar-b-que. I ate and ran, and made it back to LA in one-and-a-half hours compared to Saturday’s three hour and fifteen minute drive. I think I passed about a dozen signs on the freeway saying, “CLICK IT OR TICKET BUCKLE UP.” I found them quite amusing.

I had a lovely weekend with my family, and yes, it totally sucks to have to go back to work tomorrow.

A producer friend is looking to interview people who purchased their first house (no condos or townhomes) in Los Angeles in the last year. (Please note it must be your first owned piece of property.) Email me if you’re available next week and interested in being interviewed for a radio piece.