Pot and the Internship
Growing up, I was a shy, good kid who played by the rules. It was back in college when I slowly began to find myself and challenge, or at least question, authority. I became more confident, outgoing, and slightly less introverted. I was still terribly shy, but just a little less so. I became involved on campus, was an editor at my school newspaper, and met The Ex. He and I were total opposites. In every sense of the word.
The Ex smoked pot regularly–by himself, with his fraternity brothers, his dad, or even his grandfather. Yes, his grandfather. I on the other hand, had no desire to touch the stuff. However, by some strange force and after a year of dating, The Ex finally convinced me I didn’t have to just say no. I remember the night perfectly–my roommate was at work and The Ex and I were sitting in the living room of my apartment just hanging out. I don’t know why I suddenly gave in, as I had never found anything even mildly attractive about smoking pot. Perhaps my curiosity got the best of me. And alas, The Ex showed me what to do and instructed me on how to hold it in my lungs without coughing. Still, like any novice, I coughed. A lot.
Now, being the goody-two-shoes-non-rule breaker that I was, luck would have it that the following day I received a phone call from a Fortune 500 company I had interviewed with offering me an internship. Pending fingerprinting and a drug test, of course. Shit.
I called my boyfriend in a panic and screamed at him for ruining my life. I was convinced there was no way I’d ever pass the test, and would be internship/jobless forever. He tried to console me, apologized, then probably took a hit. I, on the other hand, was very wound up and called my mom in hysterics.
“Mom, I’ve ruined my life! I smoked pot with The Ex and [The Company] offered me an internship pending a drug test and now I’m never going to pass!”
Her response? Laughter. Pure laughter. Why? Because stuff like this only happens to me.
Yes, I was able to postpone the test. And yes, I did get the internship that eventually led to a job. And to this day, I’m still not sure if I actually inhaled anything, but I did have a horribly sore throat.
