While I was in college and dating then breaking up with then getting back together with The Ex, my friend told me she knew The Ex and I would eventually end up together. When I asked her why, she said, “Because he’s your lobster.”

My lobster. My beshert. My soulmate.

Part of my heart thought that too. In fact, after I graduated we talked about getting engaged. He knew what kind of ring I wanted, what I imagined my wedding to be like, and the kind of life I envisioned for myself and my family down the road.

Of course, I was 22-years-old and experiencing so many firsts. I had my first real job, apartment, and so many freedoms. He was 23 and on the ten year plan, hanging out with his fraternity brothers and living at his parents’ house.

Our priorities were different and consequently, we broke up. It was a long and difficult breakup and well, it sucked. Sometimes I think of what my life would have been like had we married, and that’s when I realize he was never my lobster. He was always my frog.