Apparently someone at Jmerica reads my blog, cuz they quoted my post about Broken Nose/Cell Phone Guy. I’m on the way to blog popularity, baby.

I had just turned on my computer and settled into my desk when a coworker came over and uttered the following:

I have a guy for you.

Feelings of fear and curiosity suddenly overcame me, and I asked for the vital stats. Here’s what I learned:

My coworker was out last night with his wife when they met another couple. Said couple apparently likes to yap, yap, yap, and mentioned they have a son who would like to meet a Jewish girl*. Coworker exclaimed ah ha! and gushed about me. Unfortunately, Coworker obviously has been out of the dating scene for quite a while–the only information he was able to provide me with is the son’s name, that he couldn’t make a living as a comic**, and that he’s a chiropractor.

The one and only time my number was given out by someone who had not met my potential date was a horrendous disaster and I vowed never to do it again. [ed note: thanks mom] However, in the interest of making my parents happy and broadening my horizons, I am setting myself up for disaster taking a chance. Who knows, it may make for a really great post. Oy, how I suffer for my readers.

*I would bet his parents want him to meet a Jewish girl. He, like most Jewish men, would probably like to meet a non-Jewish girl, but we’ll stick to what the parents said.
**Given my history of dating comics, let’s hope I haven’t already dated this guy.

Congratulations are in order for my sister as she landed an awesome job in New York. Welcome back to the land of the working!

—On the Broken Nose/Cell Phone Guy front, the cell phone is in fact still broken. Not sure about the nose. There’s a slight possibility I’ll find that out tomorrow night over drinks, although I’m not counting on it.—

I’ve been thinking about investing in one of these boyfriend arm pillows seeing as how there is a Hilary-sized dent in the middle of my mattress (i.e., I’ve been sleeping alone lately).

—In totally unrelated to my sister or lack-of-a-decent-date news, I will be visiting Michigan next week and have been busy transferring mp3s to my new Dell DJ. Which I love by the way. It’s too cool, aside from the crappy ear buds that came with it. What exactly is the secret to getting those things to stay in your ears?—And to continue with my mish-mash post, Mortified is back on stage. If you live in LA, it’s a definite must-see. Go check it out.

A friend and I went to dinner then stopped by Cat and Fiddle for drinks last night. The place was pretty dead. Not sure if we were there too early, or if it’s just not a happening place anymore. I still like it though.

—This morning I woke up entirely too early to take my little to the Human Worlds exhibit at the California Science Center. It was really cool, albeit a little gross at times. The IMAX movie was great, and I definitely recommend seeing it prior to entering the exhibit.—Drinks with Broken Nose Guy [ed note: note the new name...his cell phone is no longer broken] have been rescheduled to after my upcoming vacation, and hopefully for sometime in 2004. He couldn’t make it tonight because he had band rehearsal. Yep, another musician. I’m on a roll.

Rock and Roll Ralphs was playing Christmas music in the store today. It’s not even Halloween yet. I’m sorry, but that’s just wrong.

Tomorrow night I’m taking the red-eye to Detroit* for a five day vacation.** I’m going to visit a childhood friend, her husband, and their one-and-a-half-year-old son as well as a former coworker, her husband, and their five-week-old daughter. I know, lots of crying and dirty diapers, but it will be really cool to see everyone again and to be reminded that there are seasons other than spring and summer.

So, while I’m drinking Faygo Red Pop and stocking up on Sander’s Hot Fudge, why don’t you take some time out to visit some of the links on my sidebar. Pictures of autumn leaves to follow shortly!

*Okay, the suburbs of Detroit; namely, Farmington Hills.
**Yes, Detroit and vacation may be used in the same sentence if, and only if, the person going on said vacation is in fact, from Detroit originally.

Just a reminder to my sister to get a flu shot. Remember how sick we were in Vegas that one year? Flu=bad.

—Unrelated to the flu, Broken Nose Guy is still too busy. The last email I received from him said that he was swamped with work and band practice, didn’t know when he’d have time to meet for drinks, and to call him when I get back in town. I responded by telling him to just email me when things calm down for him. [ed note: I'm not really wanting to spend time on phone calls and emails with someone I may never meet.] —In other no-date-dating-news, the comedian/chiropractor hasn’t called. But then again, if my parents gave me some random guy’s phone number, I probably wouldn’t call him either. I’m sure he just loves that his parents are pimping him out.—In totally unrelated to anything news, I think my teeth are going to fall out shortly from all of the candy corn I have consumed.—And lastly, a special note to Drew: I think my mom would start a blog before my sister ever would. Before she left, I tried to get her to do one chronicling her move to New York. No go.

Remember SpeedDating Guy? The one who we thought got hit by a bus but then continued to resurface with text messages and silly phone calls only to finally say he didn’t know what he wanted? Well…he found me on Jdate. And sent me an email saying hi and asking how I was. What the hell?

Michigan was beautiful. Autumn really does exist. Trip details to follow.

My trip was great! Not only was it a ton of fun seeing my friends, the weather was gorgeous and the leaves were beautiful rust colors. I really miss having a real autumn. Anyway, for those of you that know me (or those of you that don’t but are nosy), here’s how my days went down.

Got into Michigan at the wee hours of the morning on Thursday and went straight to friend #1’s house. Relaxed for a bit then saw the beautiful five week old baby, caught up with my friend, then went for lunch and shopping in Birmingham. We met up with her husband later in the evening and had dinner then just hung out some more.

Friday we took a drive past the house I grew up in in Bloomfield Hills then went to the Franklin Cider Mill.

As a kid, my dad used to take me to the Cider Mill every year on the day it opened. We’d always be the first people there and I remember watching this giant wheel crush the apples. Well, much to my disappointment, the wheel has been replaced by modern machinery. Talk about ruining a childhood memory. Anyway, we treated ourselves to fresh apple cider, warm donuts, and took home these delicious caramel apples. To top it off, I was pleasantly surprised to learn the Cider Mill sold Mackinac Island fudge. And yes, it’s as good as I remembered it to be. Yum.

The next day I moved over to friend #2’s house. We went shopping at an awesome mall called Somerset where her husband and baby met up with us. I made a great purchase (a really cute corduroy jacket) and did a lot of window shopping. Later that night we all had dinner together while my friend and I thoroughly annoyed her husband as we reminisced about old times.

Sunday I had lunch at Coney Island with my great aunt. My grandmother died before I was born so her sister has been like a grandmother to me. It was great spending time with her–she told me all about how she and my uncle met as well as how my own grandparents met. I was informed about what it meant to “go steady” and get “pinned” then she told me these insanely romantic stories of when my uncle and grandfather went off to war. I’m so glad I had a chance to talk to her, otherwise I never would have heard these amazing tales! Later that night my friend’s husband had to go out of town for work so my friend and I got to spend the night chatting and spoiling the baby.

My last day there I had lunch with my friend’s parents at a deli where we bumped into another family friend and her daughter. After lunch, my friend and I checked out a little local market that, much to my dad’s delight, sells Tunnel Bar-B-Q sauce. [ed note: mom, let me know if I should mail it to you guys.] While there, I found some Sanders Hot Fudge and should be enjoying an ice cream sundae any day now.

So, with a suitcase packed with Michigan goodies, I headed home. I wish I could have stayed longer, but as always, it’s nice to be home.

Some recent interesting verbatim searches:

• what is juxtaposition
• irreconcilable intellects
• jennifer lopez squish bug
• mirna and charla newsletter
• caller id etiquette
• blog lesbian los angeles erica
• john edwards underwear model pictures

[ed. note: I just list them, you all are searching for them]
How did YOU get here?

Will you be voting in the upcoming presidential election? If yes, for whom? If no, why not?

So I log onto Jdate this morning to read an email and do a quick search. While reviewing my search results, the following sentence catches my eye: Non Jew seeking good guy.

From a rather cute guy’s profile.

First the non-Jewish women sign up for Jdate looking for a mensch, now gay men are doing the same. No wonder I can’t find myself a nice Jewish boy.

Mobil station near my apartment.

What are your three all-time favorite books? Least favorite?

My favorites are: Kissing in Manhattan by David Schickler, The Other Side of Mulholland by Stephen Randall, and the Tales of the City series by Armistead Maupin.

My least favorite: Heartbreaker by Carly Phillips.

…after spending two days each with a family of a five-week-old then a family with a one-and-a-half-year-old:

1. Five-week-olds, although cute, are kinda boring.
2. Poopie green diapers = bad.
3. Diaper Genie = good.
4. When a baby sucks on my neck, she’s looking for milk.
5. Blood-curdling screams from a one-and-a-half-year-old are not always cause for a freak out. More often, they mean, Hey, pay some attention to me…now!
6. Chicken nuggets are a household staple.
7. Chocolate chip cookies are preferable to chocolate chip mandel bread. (Tell Aunt Helen sorry.)
8. Long hair is a toy.
9. So are glasses and cell phones.
10. I want one.

Saw The Forgotten last night. Without ruining it for anyone–yeah, we jumped a few times, it was a little scary. But overall, thumbs down. Come on, aliens? Even weirder than the movie itself was this wet stuff falling from the sky when the movie got out. Ohmygod, it rained in LA!

The rain of course, makes already bad enough LA drivers completely forget how to drive, thus causing accidents and being the reason that at 11:30 p.m., it took me 45 minutes to go the one-and-a-half miles from the Hollywood Bowl exit to my apartment. Not fun.

And if yesterday’s hellish traffic wasn’t enough, I completely forgot today was AIDS Walk LA. So, my normally 15-minute drive to pick up my little took almost an hour today. I hate traffic like that. Anyway, she and I somehow made it to the Beverly Center sans traffic and had lunch and window shopped. Good times.

Now it’s time for me to relax and finally start a new book, The Unthinkable Thoughts Of Jacob Green. I have a feeling sushi delivery and a pay per view movie may be making an appearance tonight too.

• I’ve been up since 4 a.m. thanks to the idiot in the building next door blasting heavy metal at a volume loud enough for all of Hollywood to hear.
• The cops taking an hour to come and tell the asshole to turn the volume down.
• The extra 30 minutes it took me to go to from Wilshire to Century Park East on little Santa Monica during my morning commute.
• The minor Diet Coke spillage on my new really cute Editor Pants from Express during this morning’s traffic jam.

Good news: My boyfriend Josh Duhamel is now doing Gap ads. Check him out on Gap.com. Drool.

Weird news: Just got a text message from SpeedDating Guy. It reads, How are you? What. The. Hell.

And in more weird news: Remember the comic-turned-chiropractor that was given my phone number by a coworker? He called. We talked for a bit and he seems totally cool. But…he’s only 5′6″ (I’m 5′9″) and as horrible as this sounds, I have height issues. I think we may get together for coffee sometime soon.

Two years ago: Ditched Adelphia* because a) my cable went out at least once a week and b) they had no idea when they were going to offer cable internet in my area. Got DirecTV (love it!) and SBC DSL (so far, so good).

Two years (or more) ago until present: Regularly receive junk mail from Adelphia about new deals they are offering my area.

One month ago: Called Adelphia and requested to be removed from their marketing mailing list.

Today: Received a bill from Adelphia addressed to Resident Current at my address thanking me for signing up with Adelphia.

Huh?

*Blogger spell check wants to replace Adelphia with Adolf. I’m just saying…

Those of you that know me in person know that I have struggled with my weight most of my adult life. When I was younger, I could eat what I wanted and not have to worry about gaining weight. I swam, played tennis, and played softball. As an adult, well, not so much. I’ve never been huge, I just always had some “extra” weight on me that I wanted off.

A few years ago I watched in awe as my friend (hi JAB!) lost weight and ate healthfully thanks to Weight Watchers. She quickly became my inspiration and I was determined to lost that extra poundage. So, I dragged my sister with me to a big, bustling room in a building on Beverly and we learned how to count points. I ate well, exercised regularly, and boom, the weight came off. I went from a size 14 to a size 8 or 10, and at 5′9″, I looked damn good. And when I look good and feel good, I shop. Consequently, I now have a closet full of really cute size 8 and 10 clothes. The problem? Half of them don’t fit–they’re too tight.

I think I’ve been in denial about this until today. You see, this morning I decided to take advantage of our winter-like weather and wear a really cute grey a-line skirt with a black turtleneck and tall black boots. I put the skirt on, and although it zipped (without having to lay down), it had these ugly little bulgey bunchy lines in the front. It looked…well…bad.

So on my way to work I reviewed my options. I can either spend money on clothes in a larger size or take that money and head back to the bustling room in the building on Beverly and say hi to Lynn, my fearless leader.

Can anyone recommend a decently-flavored two-point bar?

Earlier this week my friend asked if I had heard from The Ex lately. I hadn’t. Until today. First a call from his apartment then ten minutes later a call from his cell phone. The second call generated a voicemail, and his message was spooky in that it didn’t sound like the guy I knew. His voice was different. His speech was different. It was very strange. And a little sad.

In the past two days:

SpeedDating Guy text messaged me about nothing specific.

The Ex called and emailed me. That’s a story unto itself.

Broken Nose Guy called me and left a message wanting to know if I was interested in meeting him after band rehearsal at 11:00 p.m. tonight. Uhhh, let me think about that one…no?

It’s official. My friends and I are having a girls night out and going to see Puppetry of the Penis in November. Two of my coworkers saw it last time it was in town said it was hysterical. I can’t wait! JAB, want to go?

Favorite new inexpensive sushi place: Mika on Third and La Cienega.

Movie I can’t wait to see that none of my friends want to see: I Heart Huckabees.

Worst traffic spot in all of LA, regardless of the weather: Century City.

Random event of the week: Finding out my sister’s friend is the new temp at my office.

Best skin care product line: Mario Badescu.

I’m getting older moment of the week: My friend told me that Josh Duhamel is dating Fergie and I question how he and the Dutchess of York managed to hook up.

Me: the guy my coworker tried to set me up with just called
Me: again
Mom: and??
Mom: he is the 5ft 4in??
Mom: one?
Mom: he called work or your cell??
Mom: what does he do??
Mom: height is the only prob??
Mom: or are there more probs??
Me: short
Me: chiropractor
Me: cell
Mom: ok

In case you missed my last IM conversation with Mom, here it is.

Just got back from Molly Malone’s where I saw my friend’s boyfriend’s band perform. Judging from all the head bopping in the room, I’d say they were a hit. The bar was cool too–I’d never been there before but had driven past it hundreds of times so it was nice to finally check it out. Great crowd and atmosphere. Good chance I’ll go back.

Now for the funny story. On the way to the show, I told my friend about the comic/chiropractor guy who was given my phone number by his parents via my coworker. Well…the minute I said, “He realized he couldn’t make a living as a comedian so he went to chiropractic school,” she said she knew him. Turns out she applied for and was offered a job as a masseuse at his chiropractic office. Small world, huh?

Time to try to fight off a cold and catch up on sleep.

In an attempt to a) get organized and b) get motivated, I cleaned out my closet and dressers. Everything is now nice and neat, and I can actually see the carpet on the floor of my closet. I also have two huge stacks of clothes just waiting to be worn a few pounds (less) from now.

—On a related note, I am once again a card carrying member of Weight Watchers. I went to a meeting today and “weighed-in.” Ugh. No wonder my clothes are tight. I have fourteen pounds to lose for my clothes to fit me properly once again. Wish me luck. —In totally unrelated to weight loss news, a big hello to the dozens of you that have landed here via Jewlicious. Enjoy and come back!—And in unrelated stupid Jewish boy news, Broken Nose Guy called and left a message “just saying hi” at 11:15 p.m. on Saturday night. Huh? And to make things even more interesting, SpeedDating Guy called today. We may go out in a week or so. Or not. [Ed. Note: For those following along at home--SpeedDating Guy is the musician I've gone out with before, with whom the strange thing happened at the Gap. Broken Nose Guy and I have yet to meet due to his um, broken nose and strange work and band practice schedules.]

Can anyone tell me why my blog looks funky if viewed using a broswer other than Internet Explorer? How do I fix it? Any help is much appreciated!

Update: Many, many thanks to Theo for showing me what I needed to fix. So, if you are using a browser other than IE, everything should look normal now.

Esther at Jdaters Anonymous posted a link to this article about a woman who, in attempt to find a nice Jewish doctor for her daughter, signed up on Jdate pretending to be her daughter.

Don’t get any ideas mom.

Do you believe a) there is only one person meant for you or b) there are many people but it all depends on circumstance? Talk amongst yourselves.

It’s been a while since I’ve had a good (read: strange) Jdate email to share, so enjoy:

Subject: a quick question

I know that I emailed you before so I promise that I will not bother you again, but I want to be honest with you. I have never used an internet service before and if you had any thoughts on what to do differently, I would really appreciate it?

As you could probably tell, I did not get much action after the first day. Not meaning to sound arrogant or cocky, which if you knew me, I am the farthest thing from, I am really confused because I never had much of a problem getting dates. Please be brutally honest.

Sincerely, XXXXX

Lovely, eh?

Blogger is being stupid and my template is all messed up and my posts are disappearing and I’m annoyed.

p.s. Why the hell isn’t the word “Blogger” in Blogger’s own spellcheck? What is up with that?

Just got back from a coffee-night-get-together-thing on the Westside organized by a Jewish young professionals type group that I was active with a few years ago. They are going through a reorganization of sorts and this was one of their first events in a couple of years. It was great to see some familiar faces and catch up with everyone–I am looking forward to attending more of their functions and meeting new people. On a side note, had a slight reality check at the coffee shop when we heard there were a couple of plain clothed security guards watching over us. Such a sad sign of the times.

Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, as what?

Took this picture from my balcony before leaving for the office this morning. (Click photo to enlarge.)

These signs are plastered all over Hollywood Blvd. down the street from me.

Time: 5:30 p.m. Saturday night
Location: Sushi restaurant in Solana Beach

Mom: Oy, I wish [insert very obviously Jewish name here] was single. He just recently got married. I would have fixed you up with him in a heartbeat.
Me: Who?
Mom: The nice Jewish boy who fixed our Internet connection at the office.
Me: Oh.
Mom: There’s another guy I would fix you up with, one of our patients. But he’s shorter than you.
Me: Is he a dork?
Dad: No. He’s stocky and he’s a pilot.
Mom: He flew his Asian-ex-girlfriend-who-is-converting to San Francisco for dinner one night. They broke up but they’re still friends.
Me: Shorter than me and stocky in Jdate terms means short and fat.
(Mom and Dad laugh)
Mom: This isn’t going to end up on your blog is it?

[Ed. note: Upon verifying the accuracies of this conversation with my parents, my dad mentioned said pilot is also "follicly challenged." Dad's words, not mine.]