Some recent verbatim searches:

• ryan seacrest in brief underwear
• vince vaughn thumbnail
• jdate sucks
• josh duhamel’s life
• “the swan” lingerie rachel

How did YOU get here?

Don’t get me wrong, I love my TiVo. But when I got back into town last night and saw I had 14 shows saved (how that is even possible is beyond me), I just about freaked. How am I supposed to catch up? Even if I did have time to watch two shows a night (which I don’t), it would still take me a week to watch them all, and by then, I’d be behind for the following week. Anyone else suffer from this phenomenon?

Just got back from my film class’s screening of The Day After Tomorrow. One word: HORRIBLE. In case you haven’t seen it yet, don’t! The movie is about a paleoclimatologist played by Dennis Quaid who tries to save the world, (and his son, played by Jake Gyllenhaal), from the sudden effects of global warming. The audience laughed throughout most of the film–not because it was funny-haha, but because it was funny-stupid. Yes, the special effects were very cool. Other than that, ugh.

Now please excuse me so I can crank up the air conditioner and heat something up in the microwave while leaving my television on in the other room.

Do you ever feel like you’re on auto-pilot? Like things just happen or you drive from one place to another and you don’t really remember much about it? I felt that way this morning. I woke up, got ready for work then boom, I was here sitting at my desk answering emails. Don’t ask me anything about my twenty minute commute to work–I don’t remember it. Scary.

free hook up suck service los angeles
Maybe he was looking for someone to hook up his cable and uhh, umm. I don’t know. There really isn’t a good explanation, is there?

Recently, a few of my coworkers and I were discussing bad dates. Having much unfortunate experience with said topic, I offered up a few stories of my own, including this one:

A couple of years ago, Date and I were on a second date at an Italian restaurant. When the bill came, I did the obvious purse-reach at which point Date was supposed to say, My treat. Missing his cue, Date neglected to offer to pay, so I proceeded to reach for my wallet, assuming he just didn’t notice the purse-reach. I took out my money, of course expecting Date to finally wake up and say My treat. However, Date instead took my money and told me exactly how much I owe. Shocked, I quickly excused myself to the restroom where I proceeded to call my friend and relay what had just happened.

OK, so, back to the coworkers. My purse-reach story prompted a question and answer session about dating etiquette from a coworker in his early 30s, married, with two kids. He asked: Is it bad to use a restaurant coupon on a first date? We all responded Yes! in unison. What about a coupon for admission to Disneyland, is that bad? Nope, we all answered. Why is the Disneyland coupon okay but the restaurant coupon not okay, he asked.

It just is.

And in case you were wondering, yes, Date actually asked me out on a third date. I declined.

I finally got around to reading the current issue of Real Simple magazine and I’m glad I did! On the back cover is a clever Absolut ad that reads Absolut Tchotchke. Love it!

Took my little to see Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban at the Grove today. Good thing I bought the tickets online in advance and that we saw one of the earlier shows–when our movie got out at 3:00, there was already a huge line for the 3:45 showing. Insane. Anyway, it appears I am the only person in all of LA to not be in complete awe of this whole Harry Potter thing. I haven’t read any of the books and until today I hadn’t seen any of the movies. And nope, I don’t plan to either.

So now I’m stuck home and bored to tears. While we were watching the movie my plans for tonight somehow got scratched so I’m hunting down other peeps to do something with. Wish me luck, otherwise it looks like a Blockbuster night.

Jennifer Lopez marries husband number three (Marc Anthony) and I can’t even meet someone I want to go on a third date with.

It’s that time again. Feeling inquisitive? Or nosy? Send me up to five questions (or post them in the comments) about whatever you want–about me, about Los Angeles, whatever is on your mind, and I will answer whichever ones I want to answer (hey, it’s my blog). Sounds fun, right? Ask away!

(You remember that song right? From Flashdance. Tell me you do.) Anyway, the wonderful peeps at the Bravo network are bringing us a new show–Manhunt. Basically, a male version of America’s Next Top Model. How can that not be good tv?

Today’s question on Caller ID etiquette was inspired by a conversation I had with my friend JAB earlier tonight. Here’s the scenario:

Your phone rings. You look at the caller ID and recognize the number, so you know who is calling. Do you answer the phone by saying a)Hey name-of-caller or b)Hello? as if you don’t know who is calling?

Please share your thoughts in the comments.

This puzzle sent to me by the VP of my department. Talk about frustrating–it took us 15 minutes to figure out. How’d you do?

Want a hint? Put the cursor below this sentence and highlight the blank line.
Only look at the dice that rolled odd numbers.

So I’m sitting here watching the Los Angeles auditions on Last Comic Standing. Right before the commercial break, there was a really short montage of comics that auditioned but weren’t featured on this episode. Who was included in this montage? None other than the guy I dated a few years ago and ran into at a comedy show recently. It’s a shame he didn’t get a callback, because he really is a talented comic.

p.s. Gary Gulman is my favorite thus far. How hot is he?!

My sister just called to inform me she spotted my boyfriend Josh Duhamel having lunch at Mo’s in Burbank with an unknown lady friend. Not his former (?) fiancee. To quote my sister, “He is the fucking hottest man on the planet.” I agree.

Dear Mom and Dad,

This email is one of the many reasons I will not renew my Jdate membership:

I like your profile and I think we have something we can build together, if you want I can call you. do you want to talk more on the phone.YOU are very sexy women and I like to see you.you are attracted to an exotic looking man?i like to see you in the Exotic Miami beach Florida where I want you to bee with . do you yahoo? my is…

Love,

Your-forever-single-daughter-who-knows-how-to-punctuate-and-spell-and-write-a-grammatically-correct-sentence.

I’m guessing that my new boyfriend Gary Gulman from Last Comic Standing makes it into the house because his website says:

Watch Gary on NBC’s
Last Comic Standing
Tuesdays @9/8 PM

If he was only going to be on for one more episode would they put that? Hmmm. Guess we’ll find out next Tuesday.

Just got back from my little’s school musical. I think the last time I was at an elementary school was when I was in elementary school. The show was cute, although it was hard to hear the kids on stage because of the parents in the audience shushing everyone. It seems like they had no problem chatting away when other people’s kids were on stage, but when their child was on stage, everyone got shushed. Anyway, I am proud to say my little gave a stellar performance and I am quite proud of her.

In other music related news, I am going to see Guster at the Greek Theater in September. I can’t wait–they are wonderful live!

In non-music related news, I’m not sure what happened, but traffic to my blog seems to have doubled overnight. So, to all my new readers: thanks for visiting, come back soon, and say hi or something!

When I heard that Detroit would be playing Los Angeles in the NBA finals, the first thing that went through my head was, Shit, I wonder which city would have worse riots should their team win. Now, before you start talking smack about how great your city is, a la Jimmy Kimmel, take note that I live in Los Angeles but spent the first 11 years of my life in Detroit (well, the suburbs of Detroit). I know what it’s like to see a sports team win and the city go up in flames. I’ve seen it happen in both Detroit and Los Angeles. I even know what Devil’s Night is. (The night before Halloween when all hell breaks loose in Detroit for all you non-Michiganders.) So with that said, let’s hope for a victory celebration minus the fires, cop car overturning, and gun shots. And in case you were wondering, I don’t care who wins, I know nothing about basketball.

Dear People Counting Carbs,

Please do not tell me how many carbs are in my sandwich. Please do not tell me how you “cheated” and ate a donut because someone brought Krispy Kremes into your office. Please do not tell me how much you love eating hotdogs and steak and eggs and cheese all day. Please do not tell me how you found low-carb ice cream at the grocery store.

I don’t care.

Thank you,

Someone Who Eats Bread

This time, questions come from two different readers–Jay and Rannva.

From Jay:
1. What old concert t-shirt did you prize when you were a teenager and now can’t believe you ever threw away?
The Boingo t-shirt I bought during the San Diego show of Boingo’s last tour. (JAB: remember that?)

2. Dunkin Donuts or Krispy Kreme?
Krispy Kreme. But only the plain glazed ones. I’m not a big donut person.

3. Favorite game show of all time?
When I was a kid I used to love that show where people smack this plunger-button-type-thing and scream No Whammies, No Whammies, Stop!. What was that show called? And why the hell did I like it?

From Rannva:
1. What three items would you take with you if you had 10 minutes to leave your home and never return?
Photo albums, memory boxes, and laptop.

2. If you had to participate in a reality show - which one would you pick?
Wow, this is hard. I love watching reality shows, but wouldn’t want to be on one. If I had to pick, I would choose Trading Spaces or While You Were Out. Cop out answer, I know. What’d you think I was going to say, The Bachelor?

3. What is your favorite restaurant in L.A.?
Casual and inexpensive–Toi on Sunset or Hot Wings Cafe. More pricey–Crustacean.

Have questions for me? Post ‘em!

Remember this post about the dinner date who took my money when the bill came? Perhaps this is his brother.

In case you haven’t read the newspaper or watched the news in the past two days, here’s the gist of this horrid story: A man breaks into the home of a 91-year-old former screenwriter and decapitates him. The murderer then brings the victim’s head to the neighbor’s house and stabs the neighbor (a retired doctor) to death. Apparently, said neighbor was on the phone making travel arrangements while the stabbing occurred, so the agent on the other line called 911. The cops came, found the screenwriter’s head and doctor’s body, and started looking for the murderer. The next day, the suspect is spotted and arrested at Paramount Studios, not far from the murder scene.

You’re probably wondering what my fascination is with this gruesome story? Well, late Sunday morning I was catching up on emails when I heard a helicopter hovering above my apartment building. Turns out, all of this happened right down the street from me.

And to think my mom is worried about my sister moving to New York…

Some recent verbatim searches, in order of popularity:

• gary gulman
• what is juxtaposition
• ryan seacrest in brief underwear
• josh duhamel in underwear
• celebrity height and weight -loss -gain -naked
• i don’t like the way he kisses

How did YOU get here?

Use a toothbrush to clean the removable filter on a hairdryer. Who woulda thunk it? None other than the editors at Glamour magazine. And thanks to them, I now have a hairdryer that works as good as new.

My new boyfriend Gary Gulman made it into the house. Funny, tall, Jewish, and hot. Need I say more?

p.s. Check out this webpage with a really sweet blurb about Gary.

I’m sick for the second time in as many months. (This is where you say aww, poor thing.) Not sure what’s going on with my immune system, but I’m not enjoying it. Anyway, I went in to the office today and played around on the web to pass some time in the early morning when my mind just wasn’t on work. And what did I stumble upon? A map with the Olympic torch route, which happens to go right past my office. So yes, around 11:20 a few coworkers and I took a short field trip down the street and caught a glimpse of the Olympic torch on little Santa Monica. Pretty cool if I may say so myself.

In totally unrelated news, tonight is the fourth episode of Last Comic Standing and the season premiere of The Simple Life 2. I may be sick (achoo, achoo), but I’m not sick of reality TV. God I love my TiVo.

Now please excuse me as I down some matzo ball soup.

A popular (yet odd, I know) treat in my family is microwaved marshmallows. In case you’ve never eaten this delicacy before, this is what they look like:

I put a non-microwaved marshmallow next to the microwaved ones so you can see the difference. Obviously, the marshmallows puff up quite a bit after 40 seconds in the microwave. As they cool, they get a little gooey and crunchy–kinda (but not really) like fire roasted ones. Anyone else do this or just my family?

According to a wire story on Yahoo, a hairy chested (but not gross-hairy-chested) model is requesting an insurance policy for his chest hair. I kid you not.

First, a little background: I spent $7.50 to park and $1 on a tip today parking at my doctor’s office. The office is in a building with a parking garage on Wilshire in Beverly Hills. You pull into the garage, take a ticket, then pull up to the valet. (There is no self parking.) The valet parks and retrieves your car. On your way out, you stop at the booth, hand them your entrance ticket, and pay the parking fee.

Do you tip the valet? If so, how much?

…to play the role of son and brother for a few hours on Father’s Day so I don’t have to go to a car show. Details to follow.

A few years ago, my parents came up to LA for Father’s Day weekend. Being as there is no good deli in San Diego, dad decided he wanted Nate ‘n Al’s for lunch. This unfortunate (for me) decision looped us into what would become our family’s Father’s Day tradition.

You see, while attempting to park anywhere near Nate ‘n Al’s, we stumbled upon the Concours on Rodeo–every woman’s nightmare and every man’s dream. Block after block of cars–classic cars, award winning cars, new cars–you name it. After a quick lunch at the deli, we headed over to the car show. Since it was Father’s Day afterall, my mom, sister, and I reasoned we couldn’t really gang up on dad and play the majority rules card he is used to hearing the other 364 days of the year. So, a couple hours later, my dad was in heaven and my mom, sister, and I had browsed every store in the vicinity.

And so our tradition began. For the past few years on Father’s Day, we’ve gone to the car show. And for the past few years, I keep hoping dad will forget about it. This year when he mentioned it, I jokingly told him it was canceled. Hearing his disappointment, I quickly told him I was kidding, and he laughed and said good one. Then he mentioned he wanted to go to Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles for dinner. Huh? Did I hear him right? How did he even know about Roscoe’s? Well, apparently he heard about it somewhere and figured once again, Father’s Day…majority rules…only chance…

On a side note: I noticed there are two Roscoe’s in this area–the original one on Gower and the one I hear about more often on Pico. Anyone have any suggestions on which one to go to?

Went to an IFP/LA Film Festival screening of Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle at the DGA last night. Hysterical (in that stoner movie kind of way). It’s about two roommates, Harold (John Cho) and Kumar (Kal Penn) and their late night quest for White Castle sliders. I have to point out, it was nice to see a comedy starring an Asian-American and an Indian-American in the lead roles. And, great cameo by Neil Patrick Harris.

After the screening, there was a Q&A with John Cho, Kal Penn, director Danny Leiner, and writers Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg.

After a late start by my parents getting to LA, I took a huge detour in my attempt to avoid the Gay Pride Parade traffic and met my family at my sister’s new (very cute) apartment. Then we all ventured out to Beverly Hills for the car show, found nearby parking in a structure, and off we were. To get lunch, at a cute little patisserie off Rodeo. Between browsing in all the stores (I found a strand of pearls I want at Tiffany), we did look at a few cars. Dad said he was a little disappointed with the show–in past years, there were more classic cars; this year had more new cars. He still enjoyed it though.

After our shopping excursion the car show, we went to my apartment where we got stuck in the elevator. Following a pretty non-dramatic rescue, we rehydrated and headed to Roscoe’s for dinner. (Thanks to Jerry for suggesting we try the Gower location, it was great!)

My dad got the wings and waffles, and was quite content. I do think Roscoe’s may become part of our Father’s Day tradition.

p.s. Notice the Hawaiian print shirt with cars on it? He wears that to the car show every year.

I have a bunch of Gmail accounts to give away. Want one? Then leave your email address in the comments.

Update: Uh, who knew it would be so difficult to give away Gmail accounts. There’s got to be someone out there who wants one.

It’s that time again. Gimme your questions. For more information, go here.

For those of you following my saga with The Ex (the one who said he was going to propose to his current girlfriend then proceeded to tell me he still loved me) back in April, I have an update. Right after I reactivated my Jdate account (yes, I’m giving it another go), I did a quick search to see who was online and what do ya know? The Ex is online. His account had been deactivated since he moved in with the girlfriend. I’m guessing they broke up and he moved out of her house and back in with his parents. Big surprise there, I know. JAB, how long do you think it will be until I hear from him again?

If you’re new to my blog and want to catch up with my pathetic-lack-of-a-current-love-life-but-plentiful-developments-with-a-college-boyfriend, check out the April archives beginning with Wednesday, April 7 and work your way up. It’s riveting I tell ya.

…for her Josh Duhamel Defamer sighting.

The apology:
First I am very sorry. I have been in a lot pain the last few months and am very sorry. I must tell you you were so right about what you said I could not take it as the truth.

The apology, explained:
First I am very sorry. (I am an idiot, moron, asshole, jerk, and lame ass.) I have been in a lot pain (My girlfriend realized the aforementioned things and called me on them) the last few months (she apparently isn’t a quick learner) and am very sorry (I know we’ve been broken up since college, but I want to continue pursuing you again). I must tell you you were so right (Even though it pains me to admit it, I was wrong) about what you said (damn, you’re smart) I could not take it as the truth (I never should have let you break up with me, you know me better than anyone).

*My explanation is italicized.

It started on a good note. Had a nice Father’s Day with the family, got a good night’s sleep, and went to work well rested on Monday. Then my week began to crumble. My birthday trip to Vegas may not be happening (flakey friend using work-related excuse), The Ex reappeared to mess with my brain (always fun), and my weekend trip to Hearst Castle has been postponed (different flakey friend using a lame-ass excuse) is still on (finally, things are getting back to normal). And to top it off, I’ll be 30 in a month.

The countdown begins. Thirty days till 30. Oy.

In totally unrelated news, Jdate has baffled me once again. I logged on this morning and who did I see? None other than someone I dated in college before I met The Ex. And last I heard, he uh, was married. Not sure what he’s doing on Jdate.

And speaking of The Ex, he called last night. Am I surprised? No. Am I an idiot for talking to him? Yes. Do I share his feelings of wanting to “be chill, and see where things lead” with us? Definitely not.

The Ex just called to tell me he had something important to say. Evidently, I was the topic of much of today’s therapy session. His therapist, bless her heart, told him it’s probably best to “leave her alone” and “quit bugging her” (her being me) because it’s only going to cause him more pain and me more annoyance. Hmmm, ya think? Hopefully he’ll listen to her because he sure as hell hasn’t listened to me.

To Whom It May Concern:

Approximately how many toads do I need to kiss before I meet the handsome prince?

Signed,

Not-wanting-to-a-be-a-kissing-whore

Due to the construction on Santa Monica and Little Santa Monica here in Century City, traffic is always horrible, especially during rush hour on a Friday. But today it is going to be pure hell because former President Clinton is having a book signing at 5:00 in the Brentano’s at the mall. I heard from coworkers that people were already lined up on Century Park West as early as 6:00 this morning! Wish me luck getting home.

It hasn’t even been 24 hours and The Ex already emailed me. I give up.

In case you care: My coworkers and I did a taste test of the new Coke C2 and regular Coke. As a Diet Coke addict, I rarely drink regular Coke so I couldn’t tell much of a difference. The regular Coke drinkers said the C2 had a slight aftertaste, but still gave it a thumbs up. It just tasted really sweet to me.

I’ll be up in San Simeon visiting Hearst Castle Saturday and Sunday. Please try your hardest not to miss me too much.

p.s. Show my sister some love already.

I’m back from a fun-filled weekend in Central California! Here’s the scoop:

We drove up to San Simeon Saturday afternoon. What a beautiful drive along the coast–the weather was perfect, the sun shining, and not a cloud in the sky!

We checked into our hotel and headed over to Cambria (a cute little town a few miles from San Simeon) and had dinner and drinks right on the water. The restaurant, Moonstone Beach Bar & Grill, was great and they even provide blankets for customers on the patio in case you’re chilly. After dinner we took the locals’ advice and headed over to Linn’s for dessert. Yum! By that time, we were pretty stuffed and just went back to our hotel.

Day two started early, as we had tickets for our Hearst Castle tour. So, we drove into Cambria and got coffee at a cute little coffeehouse/candy store. On our way out of town, I noticed the funniest sign:

Well, at least I found it funny. We then headed back to San Simeon for breakfast (nothing terribly special) then on to Hearst Castle for our tour.

The Castle was beautiful

and the view absolutely magnificent:

We only took the first tour. I hope I can make it back to the Castle sometime soon to go on the next tour (there are a total of four I believe).

On our way back to LA, we stopped in Solvang, a cute little Dutch town, for lunch more sweets. The pastries and fudge that we bought were so good. Leaving Solvang, we noticed yet another strange sign:

Which of course meant we had to stop and check it out. Yep, ostriches.

Lots of them. We were a little surprised that Ostrich Land allows you to stand right next to them, but whatever, I’m not paying their insurance.

Sadly, the excitement ended with Ostrich Land, and we began our drive back to the real world filled with traffic, smog, and all that stuff. If you want to see more pictures, check out my buzznet page, link on the right sidebar. (Apparently there is a daily limit to the number of uploads on Buzznet, so I will upload more pictures tomorrow.)

Yep, tomorrow night I am giving speed dating another whirl, this time with a company called Pre-Dating. Multiple “dates” in one night at a local restaurant. Should prove interesting to say the least. I’ll update ya tomorrow night.
p.s. Cross your fingers that The Ex isn’t signed up for it too!

Some recent interesting verbatim searches:

• tina’s burritos
• hair straightening
• the onion movie los angelos screening
• matzo grocer
• trishelle surreal life panties
• cute naked man
• nice jewish boy
• josh duhamel in underwear
• To buy air tickets from Los Angeles to Moscow
• Gary Gulman

How did YOU get here?

I know you’re all dying to hear how my speed dating went, so here’s the scoop. I met the most amazing guy! I walked in, registered, and glanced around the room. Made eye contact with a tall, handsome man, and he came over and started a conversation. We laughed, flirted, he bought me a drink. We were so engrossed in conversation we didn’t even hear the announcement that it was time to start! We quickly broke the pre-dating rules and exchanged email addresses and phone numbers and then–oh wait, I woke up. That was in my dream.

Yeah, it was more like this. I walked in, registered. Made eye contact with the cute waiter who smiled that oh-you’re-so-going-have-a-crappy-night-don’t-you-wish-you-hadn’t-signed-up-for-this-smile. I surveyed my five dates (don’t ask, apparently there were a bunch of no-shows) and wondered if anyone would notice if I stayed in the restroom for the next hour or so. I contemplated leaving, seeing as most of the men were waaaay older than myself and not uh, how do I say, what I typically date. I think a good number of these men have not been on a date in the last ten years. But I stuck it out and had some um, interesting conversations. Would I do it again? Definitely not with pre-dating.com. What a waste of time and money. I missed book club for this?

As if my night wasn’t bad enough, on my way home, I decided to stop at Baja Fresh. I pulled into the parking lot, closed my window, and managed to get a nice chunk of hair stuck in the window. OUCH. Now please excuse me while I eat the rest of the fudge I bought in Cambria.

You know how there are certain things in life that we all just take for granted? Like having a job (even if we hate it) or knowing that we can go to the grocery store and choose from five hundred different kinds of cereal when in other parts of the world, people are lucky if they eat breakfast at all. Well, today I realized how much I take my parents’ health for granted. I went out for lunch with a coworker and came back to two voicemails–one on my cell phone and one on my work phone, both from my mom. I immediately knew something was wrong. She and my dad had both gone (read: my mom dragged my dad) for their yearly physicals yesterday. The results were in today. Turns out, my mom’s stress test showed a blockage in her artery. So, now she has to go back to the doctor tomorrow for another, more in-depth stress test. The scariest part is that they both eat well and exercise regularly. I don’t think I’ve ever been this freaked out in my entire life.

A little bit later…
I talked to my dad and he calmed me down a lot. I think I was just feeding off of my mom’s initial panic. Everyone is a lot less stressed right now.